I've had an odd day. Feeling like things have derailed and its left me feeling sad.
My BF turned 50 yesterday. We've been friends since we were teenagers, been through thick and thin together, know each other REALLY well although in the last few years we havent been catching up frequently.
I called her to wish her a happy birthday and during our conversation she said that although its hard for us (Peter and I) to get out during the week, she was inviting us to the XX Hotel for 8.30 after dinner. There would be a band and it would be nice to have a drink to celebrate. Well of course I could go but Peter would have to stay home with Mitchell. Sadly I got the hotel mixed up with another that has an almost identical name, went to the wrong place, called her and her husband but neither could hear their phones, called her son at home blah, blah, blah and tried to find where they were. Typically neither google nor the internet would work on my phone so I came home to look up where the correct hotel was. By now its was latish and I didnt fancy going to this location, parking the car at night and walking on my own to the pub where they were. I missed her birthday celebration.
She called me this morning to reassure me that my trying to get there was good enough for her and she considered me there in spirit. But during the course of the conversation I realised that the night out had been planned for some time with all her best and closest friends. I felt really sad that I missed it. How come my invite was THAT day? I felt like an afterthought.
I know lately she's really into partying out with her other friends quite often. She is a very outgoing and social creature while I'm more of a homebody. Maybe we've just become too mismatched. I guess I'll just have to put on a brave face for her cocktail party on Saturday night. It all still leaves me feeling sad :-(
M
Ring her tomorrow and tell her exactly what you've written here. I bet there is more to the story than you assume ... in the same way you mixed up the hotels, she may have thought she'd invited you and then later realised she didn't.
ReplyDeleteIn any case, I don't think putting on a 'brave face' isn't fair to either of you. Clear communication is what friendships are about. Let her know how you're feeling and it will sort itself out x
Magda, I totally emphasize with you and understand why you feel sad over this. Hope you feel happier soon :)
ReplyDeleteThat sucks. I understand how you are feeling, and uope you are able to enjoy yourself on Saturday night.
ReplyDeleteDoh, that should be 'hope'!
ReplyDeleteI've been there with one particular friend, Magda. We became close through our daughters and socialised often. Our husbands met and got along really well. We had so much in common...then I started hearing about gatherings she'd planned where our family was either not included, or were asked to come as an "afterthought"...maybe I'm too sensitive, but it hurt me deeply.
ReplyDeleteAfter a couple of years of this hot and cold behaviour, I decided I needed to live without the hurt and just let her go. My eldest girl is still good friends with her daughter, and both girls are very welcome at each other's homes, but I'm afraid the distance has only grown with time. Sorry about the rant. Hope it works out best for YOU. xo
Bugga. Hope it all works out.
ReplyDelete