The weekend gone was a bittersweet one. We had a great time at a friend's 50th on Sunday afternoon and I attended another friend's birthday/housewarming on Saturday. All sweet and good fun :-) But the bitter was that it was assessment day at ice skating and Mitchell didn't pass his current level.
My boy has no natural sporting ability whatsoever. If he is to be good at anything sporty, he's going to have to work really hard for it. He's 10 and this whole concept of working hard is pretty much lost on him. Every level of skating he's had to do twice before he passed it. This current level he failed twice and is now on his third attempt.
We sorta knew he wouldn't pass. Some of the moves require pretty good leg strength which he just doesn't have. I've tried to 'train' him to improve his leg strength but its a constant barrage of whinging and total lack of desire to apply himself to it. Peter has been throwing around the 'you'll just have to stop the lessons blah, blah, blah".
This is where I step in and insist that he not quit and Mitchell doesn't want to anyway. I've had to state my case firmly that a really important life lesson is that you don't quit just because something's hard. I don't want Mitchell to grow up thinking that's the answer when the going gets tough. I've put it out there that we haven't supported him to succeed at this level. Every other level we (I) have found a way to get him along to extra practice except this one - undoubtedly the hardest one. Now its time for me/us to find a way to get him on the ice for extra practice and we've amended our schedule to accommodate this.
I hate seeing my kid disappointed and he truly was when he didn't go up a level. I can tell he really likes ice skating and I want to nurture and support him to keep going and along the way learn some important life lessons. I guess that's a pretty typical mum thing although from what I see, 'typical mums' are reigning in their sons from participating in too much sport. LOL.
Is my son alone or have other mums struggled with the sport part of raising boys (or girls)?
M
I also struggle with this same battle in our house Mr T at nearly 8 is not sports keen either! He plays golf and swims in summer. He is not a typical cricket/football/soccer sort of kid. He doesn't have a huge drive to excel at sport. He loves to run around our nearly acre of garden, ride his bike, go for a bit of a run with me, and I am grateful for the incidental exercise that he does, but when it comes to the lessons for golf and swim club he is happy to 'plod' along so to speak! Totally understand where you are coming from and I hope sharing my experience provides some answers that its not just Mitchell. x
ReplyDeleteMagda, I think I have blogged regarding the girls ballet. Both of my daughters struggle with anything sporty (a bit like their mother) and I have had to deal with their disappointments when they think they have been trying as hard as they could only to fail. There are times when they want to give up but I try to encourage them to keep going as they truly love dancing (except at exam time). As upsetting as it is sometimes, I'm glad they are learning these lessons now and they will hopefully understand that sometimes you have to work for what you want.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are doing a great job in helping him reach his goals.
Mich xx
Magda, it depends. Neither of my kids have any interest in sport or exercise. My goal is to foster a love of movement in my kids and to make them realize that being active is one of life's joys. To that end, I get my eldest to help me choose the music and choreo for my cycle classes - she gets some top 40 stuff and helps me look less old! Plus everyone fusses her up in class and she gets up early on Saturdays so she can see everyone. Now she's decided she's going to try a fun run so she can dress up and party with us at the end! Not bad for a non sporty :)
ReplyDeleteHi Maryanne, there are lots of similarities with our boys as Mitchell loathes cricket, football and soccer - although he plays school cricket in summer as he must choose an extra curricular sport. Sadly we cant get Mitchell interested in bike riding or running. He really is activity averse LOL.
ReplyDeleteMich I remember you blogging or FBing about your girls' dancing classes. Lots of parallels with our kids in terms of their challenges and how we help them get through.
Liz it sounds like you've got it worked out. Mitchell is so anti-movement LOL. We live 5 minutes from our local shopping centre and if we walk there, he whinges the whole way and tells me every minute that he cant possibly walk any further. He has enjoyed playing on playgrounds and kids cafes but sadly is too old for those now.
Thanks guys, I've really enjoyed reading your comments.
My lot are not natural athletes either...but we had them try a few different sports and made them stick each one out for a season or a term or whatever, even if they hated it, just to be sure they were giving it good go. It was made harder by the fact that ALL sports had matches or training after school ta least once a week, and with both of us working, it was a major drama to get them there.
ReplyDeleteEventually they all settled on karate, and there were times when they didn't pass a grading and had to suck it up, work harder and try again. Like you, we thought that teaching lessons about persistence and practice were just as important as the actual exercise part.
P.S. My eldest and youngest were the world's biggest whingers about walking anywhere. Lazy little sods. The eldest used to spend his pocket money on bus fares, so he didn't have to do the 25 minute walk to school. Now he's either in the gym or outdoors running every single day.