IN ORDER TO "GET IT" YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP WORKING AT IT

Geez life is busy right now and so daily blogging is a bit of a pipe dream. The only reason I'm getting to it today is that I'm home with my boy as he's not well. So he's on the sofa and I'm upstairs in the study FBing and now blogging.

I've had a really interesting start to September. There have been some great highlights (already - pics of me and my boy at the Royal Adelaide Show to come) but there have been a few subtle warnings as well.

Why is that every time I make a statement about what I want or dont want to do, I end up doing even more what I dont want to do - if that make sense LOL. In my September mini goals I mentioned that I was aiming for a sugar-less month (eg not having cakes or biscuits as often and being more mindful about when I do have them. Its not going sugar free, but being more sugar mindful).

So what do I do since then? Yep, I have more sugar than I would normally have :-(

I think I know why though. One of my previous binging triggers was a feeling of being under incredible pressure, being unsure of my abilities, just stressing about work issues. Somehow I managed to temper all that and for quite a long period I felt calm, (somewhat) confident and in control. However in the last few weeks an important major project has really ramped up and my head is spinning with facts and information related to it - as well as managing the squillions of other things I do.

But thats only half of it. In October my Director goes on 3 weeks leave and her close Director colleague (who works with us as well) will also be away for 2 of those weeks. In that time, I'll be acting Director with responsibility for bringing this project together and its shaping up to be a mammoth task of very scary proportions.

Now on the outside I'm all cool, calm and collected just writing down everything I think I might possibly need whilst going about business as usual. But on the inside, ever so subtly the stress is building. Its a month out and its there and I think it will only build up more and more.

So whats the problem? The problem is that I'm mindful of slipping back into my old behaviours of eating for comfort, eating for 5 minutes of feel good, eating for distraction or just eating  ...... Yesterday was a bit of a test and it really made me wake up to this. Although there was no binging, the warning signs were loud and clear.

So, just putting it out there that sometimes this journey to eating mindfully and trusting myself to make the right choices is damned hard. You might have weeks and weeks of coasting along thinking you've got it and then circumstances change and you realise that in order to "get it" you've got to keep working at it.

Gotta love life's challenges :-)

M