SOUL SEARCHING AND MAKING DECISIONS

It hasnt taken much soul seraching for me to be clear about what I want and why I want it. I just needed to be sure that my decision was coming from a place of due thought and consideration as opposed to a flight of fancy, caught up in the whirl of impulsiveness.

In January of this year I made a commitment to myself that I would get my eating under control and get my weight to a level that I was happy and comfortable with. I worked hard to get my thinking right, my headset positive and have my plan of attack pretty clear in my head. Then I got on with it and DID IT. Every day I made choices and decisions that supported me getting to my goal. It almost came naturally. It certainly didnt feel like I was struggling or feeling deprived.

Then two things went wry and I slipped slightly off my course. Firstly I became complacent and started to relax a bit too much with my food choices. You know what I mean cause we've all done it "a little bit of this" or "I've done lots of running so I'm sure this wont do any harm" or just having that bit too much of something that tastes really good. After several weeks of being very focussed I became less focussed and .... complacent.

Secondly - and this is the greater of the two evils ... I became obsessed with the scale readings. I'd hop on 2 or 3 or more times a week lately. This just doesnt work for me and all was good when I'd weigh weekly and then forget about it. You see I'd become all numbers obsessed which is SO NOT what this is about. Yes I want to see a lower number on that damned machine but at the end of the day its about the following:

feeling good about myself because I'm taking good care of my physical self
feeling calm because I'm not torturing my mind and body through destructive behaviours
feeling light and fast(ish) on my runs which increases my enjoyment of running
knowing that I can approach my wardrobe in the morning and not have to look for the fat clothes
enjoying shopping for new clothes
setting a good example for my son about healthy eating and exercise
and on a totally vain note I admit I love it when people say "wow you look good for your age"

So I know its truly time to refocus and recommit. And I do it with sincerity and a renewed sense of purpose. My original medium term goal is to run the HM at 60 - 62 kg and this is what I'm committing to working towards. It feels wrong to give up whn I'm only half way there.

Will I reach my short term goal of sub 65 by the end of February? I'm not sure as its only a week away and I'm not prepared to do anything drastic or stupid to achieve it but I'll focus on eating well and doing my training and we'll see what MM does in return.

Geez I feel good now. Putting yesterday behind me and charging forward again ..... WOOHOO ....sub 62 or bust LOL.

M