Tonight I feel a bit ..... (hmm insert mouth and nose pulled tight to the side) ..... bewildered. Or maybe .... (I've stared at the screen for 10 minutes and I cant even put it into words).
I'm trying to understand the delicate, intriguing, unpredicatbale workings of my mind. Sometimes I know me and sometimes I just baffle myself. Right now ,as for a couple of months I'm baffled.
In June this year I took a big leap of faith and changed my mindset about dieting, eating, losing weight, body image etc. It all happened relatively easily once I made the decision to look at things differently. The first few weeks were extremely stressful with EOFY on top of us, work being stupidly busy and me certainly feeling the pressure. But my faith in myself and my new outlook got me though it all relatively unscathed. I stuck to my new beliefs and outlook and soldiered through the tough times. Life was genuinely good deep inside and I was starting to feel genuinely happy - deep inside.
I'm not sure when I had my first relapse back to binging but it unsettled me a little. However I had a good think about it, worked out the cause and easily corrected it. I soldiered on and continued to be happy as this was but a mere blip.
Then it happened again and ..... again ..... and again.
I found comfort in the writings of others especially Miss Katie (Head*Heart*Health) and some very meaningful motivational quotes and books such as French Women etc. Every time I forgave myself and moved on in a positive direction with a positive mindset, clinging on to my internal happiness.
But tonight its come to a bit of a head and I sit here thinking why. Why am I slipping back to my old habits with some frequency now? Am I still so far removed from getting my head right even though I'm telling myself I have.
Look I have no demons from my past. There are no deep rooted problems that I need to get out and come to terms with. But how and why is my percpetion of normal vs emotional eating so far from where I want it to be. It feels like I glide along the path of emotional eating freedom and genuine internal happiness until I hit a pot hole and come down in a tumbling heap with some frequency. I want to get to that place where I can see the pot hole coming so I veer around it or I sprint over it or I ease myself ever so gently in then out of it. You get my drift???
I wasnt even sure of posting this tonight but my blog header does say that I blog the good the bad and everything in between so thats me uncut. I really welcome any comments, insights or observations that you, my readers, may have. I'm looking to find a better understanding of this and a solution to get me to where I want to be. I'm all ears.
M
Monday, October 31, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
A TYPICAL SATURDAY
Well today was pretty much a typical Saturday except that Peter took a day off from working around the house and came to watch our boy skate. However it turned out to be the worst time to come and watch because of new skates that were tight and uncomfortable to start with so there was a lot of standing around and wasting time. He got there in the end but not til there had been lots of frustration on our behalf.
I had to modify today's training due to rain this morning. I rarely ride the exercise bike these days but today I dragged it out and hopped on while reading Shelley's 2nd book To Fat and Back. I tell you, that 40 minutes went so quickly and I enjoyed every bit of the book even though I'm only a little way into it. I could relate to much of it and my heart went out to her on so many levels as I read about her struggles last year.
Due to a minor case of domestic mismanagement, I ended up having to treat Peter out to lunch today LOL. We rarely go out to lunch together on a Saturday so it was quite a little treat. We kept it fairly simple though at one of our local cafes .. and saved ourselves for beer o'clock and home made seafood laksa for dinner :-) Tomorrow Bikram yoga is on my schedule and I cant tell you how much I'm looking forward to that :-)
So not much else to waffle on about tonight. Just looking forward to a good day tomorrow, Bikram, including walking there and back, a trip to a wildlife park in the afternoon, probabaly out for coffee as well and then lamb koftas with hummos and tabbouleh for dinner. Yummo!!
Off to bed to read the paper now :-)
I had to modify today's training due to rain this morning. I rarely ride the exercise bike these days but today I dragged it out and hopped on while reading Shelley's 2nd book To Fat and Back. I tell you, that 40 minutes went so quickly and I enjoyed every bit of the book even though I'm only a little way into it. I could relate to much of it and my heart went out to her on so many levels as I read about her struggles last year.
Due to a minor case of domestic mismanagement, I ended up having to treat Peter out to lunch today LOL. We rarely go out to lunch together on a Saturday so it was quite a little treat. We kept it fairly simple though at one of our local cafes .. and saved ourselves for beer o'clock and home made seafood laksa for dinner :-) Tomorrow Bikram yoga is on my schedule and I cant tell you how much I'm looking forward to that :-)
So not much else to waffle on about tonight. Just looking forward to a good day tomorrow, Bikram, including walking there and back, a trip to a wildlife park in the afternoon, probabaly out for coffee as well and then lamb koftas with hummos and tabbouleh for dinner. Yummo!!
Off to bed to read the paper now :-)
Friday, October 28, 2011
BIG STUFF .... DECIDED
One thing is guaranteed in our household ... Friday night beer o'clock brings out the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. After a glass (or two) of wine I'm telling it like it is and there is no holding back. It is honestly the BEST time to thrash something out and make important decisions from the heart.
So my decision is made after lots of discusion, debate and deliberation.
In 2012 I will be an Adelaide Univeristy student studying for my Graduate Certificate in Business Administration. At least one other colleague from my current course will also be doing her Grad Cert and there may well be one more. The rest of the group seem pretty uninterested.
Now, I'll still work full time as this study is 36 hours contact time over 12 weeks plus my reading, assignments and exam prep time. I only have to complete and pass 2 modules to achieve my qualification. I will be a busy busy little beaver but Peter is totally supportive (I knew I married that man for a good reason) and I know that if I'm well organised, balanced and dedicated I will succeed. I'm genuinely excited about the prospect of continuing my studies so I know its the right decision.
At this stage I'm only biting off a small chunk at a time so its Grad Cert by August 2012 and then I'll reassess if I want to continue.
Geez life will change and I'll need to be super organised and disciplined to achieve this but I've managed well this year and am fully prepared to ramp it up next year. Its an exciting time.
:-) M
So my decision is made after lots of discusion, debate and deliberation.
In 2012 I will be an Adelaide Univeristy student studying for my Graduate Certificate in Business Administration. At least one other colleague from my current course will also be doing her Grad Cert and there may well be one more. The rest of the group seem pretty uninterested.
Now, I'll still work full time as this study is 36 hours contact time over 12 weeks plus my reading, assignments and exam prep time. I only have to complete and pass 2 modules to achieve my qualification. I will be a busy busy little beaver but Peter is totally supportive (I knew I married that man for a good reason) and I know that if I'm well organised, balanced and dedicated I will succeed. I'm genuinely excited about the prospect of continuing my studies so I know its the right decision.
At this stage I'm only biting off a small chunk at a time so its Grad Cert by August 2012 and then I'll reassess if I want to continue.
Geez life will change and I'll need to be super organised and disciplined to achieve this but I've managed well this year and am fully prepared to ramp it up next year. Its an exciting time.
:-) M
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
BIG STUFF
Tonight's post is a bit of a brain and heart dump about big stuff that I'm facing in the coming months.
You all know (if you're regular readers) that I'm doing a management training course this year. There are 6 modules each of 2 days duration each followed by an assignment for assessment, one exam and then a work based project. However at the end of it I get a certificate that says I did the course (and passed it). It is NOT a formal qualification.
I now have the choice to continue my studies or take what I've got and run. I can jump into the full MBA (Master of Business Administration) course or chip away at it via a Grad Certificate in Business Admin and Grad Diploma in same. The next step would be the MBA.
Here's what's attractive:
1. I need to do 2 subjects of 12 weeks each (and pass them of course) to achieve the Grad Cert and receive a "parchment".
2. By August 2012 I can have this finished.
3. I have enjoyed the learning process - the intellectual stimulation has been great and I have already benefitted from the year's study (feeling more confident about my ability to do my job and also to work at a higher level.)
Here are the not so attractive bits:
1. Contact time of 36 hours / module and personal time commitment of between double and triple that (6-9 hours / week).
2. The cost (tertiary study is not cheap and I'm not sure if / how much my employer would cover).
3. Lifestyle change to accommodate the time commitment (less "me-time", less family time, less time to devote to work which I need to keep on top of things.)
But facts aside the fundamental issues I'm grappling with which are at the heart of all this are:
1. I dont have a tertiary qualification of any sort and have made it to where I am through hard work, experience and being in the right place at the right time and then performing well and delivering. I would LOVE to have a tertiary qualification.
2. If I invest in this study ($$$ and time) then I will expect a return on my investment (in the form of a higher position). So, is that what I REALLY want? Do I want an executive level position and all that goes with it? Obviously the extra money would be great but with it comes extra pressure and stress (there's no such thing as a free lunch!!).
That is my dilemma to ponder and decide by early December as applications for the course(s) are due then. Oh and I'll have it on the agenda for discussion at beer o'clock this Friday night.
:-)
M
You all know (if you're regular readers) that I'm doing a management training course this year. There are 6 modules each of 2 days duration each followed by an assignment for assessment, one exam and then a work based project. However at the end of it I get a certificate that says I did the course (and passed it). It is NOT a formal qualification.
I now have the choice to continue my studies or take what I've got and run. I can jump into the full MBA (Master of Business Administration) course or chip away at it via a Grad Certificate in Business Admin and Grad Diploma in same. The next step would be the MBA.
Here's what's attractive:
1. I need to do 2 subjects of 12 weeks each (and pass them of course) to achieve the Grad Cert and receive a "parchment".
2. By August 2012 I can have this finished.
3. I have enjoyed the learning process - the intellectual stimulation has been great and I have already benefitted from the year's study (feeling more confident about my ability to do my job and also to work at a higher level.)
Here are the not so attractive bits:
1. Contact time of 36 hours / module and personal time commitment of between double and triple that (6-9 hours / week).
2. The cost (tertiary study is not cheap and I'm not sure if / how much my employer would cover).
3. Lifestyle change to accommodate the time commitment (less "me-time", less family time, less time to devote to work which I need to keep on top of things.)
But facts aside the fundamental issues I'm grappling with which are at the heart of all this are:
1. I dont have a tertiary qualification of any sort and have made it to where I am through hard work, experience and being in the right place at the right time and then performing well and delivering. I would LOVE to have a tertiary qualification.
2. If I invest in this study ($$$ and time) then I will expect a return on my investment (in the form of a higher position). So, is that what I REALLY want? Do I want an executive level position and all that goes with it? Obviously the extra money would be great but with it comes extra pressure and stress (there's no such thing as a free lunch!!).
That is my dilemma to ponder and decide by early December as applications for the course(s) are due then. Oh and I'll have it on the agenda for discussion at beer o'clock this Friday night.
:-)
M
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
HANDING BACK CONTROL OF THE SHIP
Today the divine Miss H (my Director) returned from her OS sojourn and I handed back the Director's job. PHEW!!!
It was an interesting experience. I learnt heaps including just how much I DONT know. But I gave it my best shot and certainly put a good effort in so I can sleep at night knowing this.
The ironical bit is that although the ultimate responsibility for our unit's issues no longer lies with me, there is still a massive workload that I'm responsible for and this will continue for quite some weeks. C'est la vie. Hard work never scared me... even if I get on here and have my whinges or mini meltdowns LOL.
Still contemplating a day's leave for some personal indulgence but my original plan for 11 November is no longer possible due to a major project running late and that date being a critical milestone.
Having said all that, I've clocked 2 weights sessions this week - legs and abs yesterday and back / shoulders / tris today. I have a little bit of DOMS in my glutes which is good as I'm now working with weights that "make a difference." Eating has been good and my daily indulgence is usually a wine with dinner - consumed with no regret or guilt as my food is pretty healthy.
Anyways I have a little work to catch up on tonight so I say farewell until next time.
:-) M
It was an interesting experience. I learnt heaps including just how much I DONT know. But I gave it my best shot and certainly put a good effort in so I can sleep at night knowing this.
The ironical bit is that although the ultimate responsibility for our unit's issues no longer lies with me, there is still a massive workload that I'm responsible for and this will continue for quite some weeks. C'est la vie. Hard work never scared me... even if I get on here and have my whinges or mini meltdowns LOL.
Still contemplating a day's leave for some personal indulgence but my original plan for 11 November is no longer possible due to a major project running late and that date being a critical milestone.
Having said all that, I've clocked 2 weights sessions this week - legs and abs yesterday and back / shoulders / tris today. I have a little bit of DOMS in my glutes which is good as I'm now working with weights that "make a difference." Eating has been good and my daily indulgence is usually a wine with dinner - consumed with no regret or guilt as my food is pretty healthy.
Anyways I have a little work to catch up on tonight so I say farewell until next time.
:-) M
Monday, October 24, 2011
FRENCH WOMEN DONT GET FAT
I bought this book a while ago and recently finished it having only ever read a few pages at a time before going to sleep. It wasnt the sort of book that totally absorbed you, the sort that once you start, you just cant stop. But I enjoyed it and thought I'd review it in case anybody was wondering what it was about.
Firstly let me say that it had some really good sensible messages in it. It would appeal to the more mainstream reader rather than those who aspire to be athletes in any form. Eg: if you take your training pretty seriously and like to live by some / many diet rules then its not going to be your cup of tea. Each to their own, me thinks.
The author (Mireille Guiliano lives in America and happens to be the CEO of Champagne Veuve Cliquot) writes of her life as an exchange student when she gained a lot of weight due to poor eating habits. Upon returning home to France, her mother put her onto the family GP (aptly named Dr Miracle) who gently guided her on a journey of gradual and sustainable weight loss. She details the proceess she went through to:
1. become aware of her eating habits
2. undertake a "re-casting' (like a mini detox - one weekend only)
3. then progress through the first three months making some gradual changes to her eating
4. learn some smart tips to minmise the (potentially negative) effects of the changes in order to maintain a healthy relationship with food and to continue to enjoy the pleasure it gives.
5. learn how to maintain a healthy weight long term WITHOUT dieting but being smart and mindful when it comes to food.
She writes with such passion about the foods that the French enjoy and I was cheering and agreeing with her love of bread, wine, champagne and other traditionally forbidden foods that many people go out of their way to avoid. (Chocolate too but of that I'm not a fan). A strong message is "choose quality over quantity" and this also resonates well with me.
Some people might be thinking "yeah its just another diet book subtley marketed to not appear so" but I found it to be more a message of "you can have anything as long as you balance it all out" or simply put "the MODERATION message" worded in some fancy ways. There are lots of recipes too but I havent tested any.
Chapter 10 "Moving Like a French Woman" takes a VERY mainstream approach to exercise and had me giggling at her perception of "small free weights (one and a half to three kilos) used in simple, familiar exercises are a good way to preserve upper-body tone and bone density and supplement the cardiovascular benefits of an active lifestyle." But on the other hand she does advocate an active lifestyle with messages such as "walk everywhere", "take the stairs whenever you can" and she writes quite extensively about the importance of breathing. Again there's some basically good advice there for our typically lazy Aussie culture.
To finish she gives quite a long list of tips and tricks that she and French women use to enjoy a wide variety of foods while staying slim. Most had me nodding my head (French women love bread and would never consider a life without carbs), some had me laughing (French women will dress to take out the garbage - you never know) and the one I really needed to hear (French women do stray, but they always come back, believing there are only detours and no dead ends.)
It was a good book for me as it aligned with my philosophy on food and eating and how I aspire to live my life (except for the light weights for upper body toning LOL). The last tip that hits home for me is this:
French women choose their own indulgences and compensations. They understand that little things count, both additions and subtractions, and that as an adult everyone is the keeper of her own equilibrium."
Hail French women and hail to living lean and healthy while never feeling deprived.
:-) M
Sunday, October 23, 2011
SUNDAY OUT
Hey there, what are you playing?
Oh look, Mummy's taking photos.
Well we better give her our best photo pose. How's this?
Today we went to a restaurant called "fish". But our fish faces look more like cat's bums. (Need to practice fish faces some more.)
Well Bikram yoga didnt happen today as the studio had a seminar and limited classes early and late in the day, neither time suiting me. So I ended up going for a walk which was actually more about pleasure than an exercise session. The problem was that by the time I got to walk, I'd been up for hours, had nothing to eat (its recommended that you dont eat for 2 - 3 hours before Bikram) and was REALLY hungry. So I set off on a walk, went to my fave cafe and ordered a cappuccino and a serve of raisin toast and finished reading French Women Dont Get Fat (review coming soon). After that I set off on a walk, tummy happy, me happy and soaking up my beautiful suburb and all it has to offer.
We headed out for a family day at Glenelg and had lunch at "Fish". Peter and I shared a seafood platter (VERY NICE!!) and a bottle of wine and then mosied around until it was time to head to the airport. Not much else to say tonight. I've been debating whether to fire up the work email and get stuck into some work but have decided to not break my own rule of no work on weekends. Instaed I'm going to have an early night and catch up reading the weekend papers. There is always tomorrow for working.
Cheers all
M
Saturday, October 22, 2011
CRAZINESS AND CHAOS
Today really enforced just how tough last week was. I can normally switch off and relax fairly easily but for a number of reasons, today was just madly hectic and my fuse was short and the feelings of craziness and chaos were with me for most of the day. And these are feelings that dont sit well with me. I can handle them for limited periods and with a big effort I can control them but this week they beat me and even today they were trying hard to take over. Fortunately I had wised up and was better prepared for them and all was good with eating today. I even managed a short walk this morning after doing sweet FA since last Monday.
It wasnt until Peter and I sat down to beer o'clock just after 5pm that I felt like I could relax - until I got up to cook the 5 course dinner I had planned LOL - seriously!! At beer o'clock we normally chat about our training plans for the following day to make sure we are in synche and we each get done what we plan for that day. Well I was a bit wishy washy about what I wanted to do tomorrow and it was Peter who piped up and encouraged me to go to Bikram yoga - virtually insisting that I go. Now this is a bit ironic because lately he's made it known very subtley that he finds it annoying when I go to yoga - just little quips about how much time it takes up, how I could get so much more done at home if I didnt go .... yada yada yada. BUT he knows that it is relaxing and stress relieving and hence I'm now being pushed to go. Mind you - no complaints here - so off I'll go.
After that we have a family day out at Glenelg before Peter flies to Hobart for a Monday meeting. Hopefully the combination of yoga, lunch out and some fun at Glenelg is just what the doctor ordered. I may even have some more crazy pics to share :-)
M
It wasnt until Peter and I sat down to beer o'clock just after 5pm that I felt like I could relax - until I got up to cook the 5 course dinner I had planned LOL - seriously!! At beer o'clock we normally chat about our training plans for the following day to make sure we are in synche and we each get done what we plan for that day. Well I was a bit wishy washy about what I wanted to do tomorrow and it was Peter who piped up and encouraged me to go to Bikram yoga - virtually insisting that I go. Now this is a bit ironic because lately he's made it known very subtley that he finds it annoying when I go to yoga - just little quips about how much time it takes up, how I could get so much more done at home if I didnt go .... yada yada yada. BUT he knows that it is relaxing and stress relieving and hence I'm now being pushed to go. Mind you - no complaints here - so off I'll go.
After that we have a family day out at Glenelg before Peter flies to Hobart for a Monday meeting. Hopefully the combination of yoga, lunch out and some fun at Glenelg is just what the doctor ordered. I may even have some more crazy pics to share :-)
M
Friday, October 21, 2011
NO HOLDING BACK
Hiya all (assuming there is more than 1 reader of my blog tonight),
Well here I am at the end of week 3 of my Acting Director stint and I have decided to bite the bullet and give you the truth, the whole truth and .... well you know the rest.
OK, so this week SUCKED .... BIG TIME :-(
After 2 pretty good weeks and a nice cruising along feeling, I got to Monday morning, evaluated where I was at with the things I wanted to achieve, realised how little I had achieved and proceeded to melt down and have a massive internal panic attack - whilst remaining cool, calm and collected on the outside (because isnt that what all good managers / directors do??!!).
Now this led to one (or all) of the following feelings:
a) I cant be arsed
b) This isnt really happening
c) Its all too hard
d) All of the above
and I ended up having a very crappy eating week coupled with late nights and no training in the mornings. Slowly the wheels started to fall off and by yesterday all four (wheels) had gone astray. What a turnaround from last week's effort??!!
But in all seriousness I was not prepared for this week being a 'culmination' where I really wanted to nail some key things and it didnt look like I would. I was planning to use my last yoga pass on Tuesday but changed my mind late in the day so I could work in the evening. That threw our dinner plans totally our of order and it was all downhill from there. Things were pretty tense in our household thats for sure.
I now realise that I cant possibly give my all to a demanding job and expect to run my household efficiently and give my personal wellbeing the priority and attention it deserves. I just cant spread myself that thin and far. Given the chance to do this again, I would plan it very differently.
But whats been is gone and I'm not beating myself up, wallowing in self pity or planning some wierd arsed rescue mission. I just know that I need to put this behind me and get back to doing what I know is right and what works for me.
Already today has been good and I know tomorrow will be even better. I keep telling myself that I am still on the journey. There are good times and there are still some bad times. I'm not where I want to be just yet but I'm damn closer than I was 6 months ago and as long as I keep taking one step forward and then another and another, I'll get to the place where I want to be.
So to finish off I thought I'd post this from Shar's blog (sorry too late and too tired to link to her - go check out Mum on a Mission). Here's a little bit about me:
Favourite workout - Bikram yoga (but I need to commit to another 10 sessions pass)
Favourite food - oh where do I start? Mum's roast chicken; Mum's vanilla slice; a GOOD spagetti marinara ... there are too many to list
Favourite clothing - long brown high heeled boots, black tights, short black knit skirt, body fitting black jumper with gold /; brown toned jewellery. I LOVE dressing up and feel so sexy in this outfit.
Favourite day - Saturday - the day I take some "me-time" as well as doing the usual mum-duties.
Favourite month - March. Although summer is my favourite season, there is something really magical about the beauty of autumn. Plus its our anniversary month as well :-)
Favourite place - Our outdoor area - with a glass of wine
Favourite colour - Red / purple (depending on my mood)
So what are your favourites? Please share.
XX M
Well here I am at the end of week 3 of my Acting Director stint and I have decided to bite the bullet and give you the truth, the whole truth and .... well you know the rest.
OK, so this week SUCKED .... BIG TIME :-(
After 2 pretty good weeks and a nice cruising along feeling, I got to Monday morning, evaluated where I was at with the things I wanted to achieve, realised how little I had achieved and proceeded to melt down and have a massive internal panic attack - whilst remaining cool, calm and collected on the outside (because isnt that what all good managers / directors do??!!).
Now this led to one (or all) of the following feelings:
a) I cant be arsed
b) This isnt really happening
c) Its all too hard
d) All of the above
and I ended up having a very crappy eating week coupled with late nights and no training in the mornings. Slowly the wheels started to fall off and by yesterday all four (wheels) had gone astray. What a turnaround from last week's effort??!!
But in all seriousness I was not prepared for this week being a 'culmination' where I really wanted to nail some key things and it didnt look like I would. I was planning to use my last yoga pass on Tuesday but changed my mind late in the day so I could work in the evening. That threw our dinner plans totally our of order and it was all downhill from there. Things were pretty tense in our household thats for sure.
I now realise that I cant possibly give my all to a demanding job and expect to run my household efficiently and give my personal wellbeing the priority and attention it deserves. I just cant spread myself that thin and far. Given the chance to do this again, I would plan it very differently.
But whats been is gone and I'm not beating myself up, wallowing in self pity or planning some wierd arsed rescue mission. I just know that I need to put this behind me and get back to doing what I know is right and what works for me.
Already today has been good and I know tomorrow will be even better. I keep telling myself that I am still on the journey. There are good times and there are still some bad times. I'm not where I want to be just yet but I'm damn closer than I was 6 months ago and as long as I keep taking one step forward and then another and another, I'll get to the place where I want to be.
So to finish off I thought I'd post this from Shar's blog (sorry too late and too tired to link to her - go check out Mum on a Mission). Here's a little bit about me:
Favourite workout - Bikram yoga (but I need to commit to another 10 sessions pass)
Favourite food - oh where do I start? Mum's roast chicken; Mum's vanilla slice; a GOOD spagetti marinara ... there are too many to list
Favourite clothing - long brown high heeled boots, black tights, short black knit skirt, body fitting black jumper with gold /; brown toned jewellery. I LOVE dressing up and feel so sexy in this outfit.
Favourite day - Saturday - the day I take some "me-time" as well as doing the usual mum-duties.
Favourite month - March. Although summer is my favourite season, there is something really magical about the beauty of autumn. Plus its our anniversary month as well :-)
Favourite place - Our outdoor area - with a glass of wine
Favourite colour - Red / purple (depending on my mood)
So what are your favourites? Please share.
XX M
Sunday, October 16, 2011
SUNDAY SHENANIGANS
What do you do while you wait for the movie to start? ..... Be silly of course.
And some more.
And its not just 3D but Aroma Scope as well. BTW ... the cards didnt work. I scratched like mad, nothing happened and I certainly didnt smell what I was meant to smell.
So this is what I get up to on a Sunday afternoon ... pulling stupid faces and taking pictures of myself and my boy. LOL I'm making the most of this as in a few years time, he wont want to be seen in public with me ... such is life.
Its been an awesome weekend. On Saturday morning it was back to skating classes and I was, yet again, bursting wioth pride watching my boy learn to skate backwards now and get better at his cross-overs. He has come such a long way from the awkward, timid boy who took his first lesson 11 or 12 weeks ago. And to really ice my cake, he is now considering going on to figure skating instead of ice hockey which he realises is a contact sport of which he's not too fond, as a rule. I cant tell you how much I adore figure skating. I could watch it for hours and hours and often lose myself watching the figure skaters practice in the public sessions.
After skating lesson and a practice skate, I met a dear friend for lunch and we wiled away the afternoon drinking champagne, then going for a coffee before coming back to my place for a little while. I had such a great time and it all ended so late that dinner never got cooked and we ended up with a healthy lean seafood pizza instead. Luckily Peter got his act together and made dinner for our boy while my friend and I kept chatting.
I couldnt make it to hot yoga today because of Peter's schedule but I got out for a 40 minute walk instead and was good with that. Then it was off to the movies, out for ice cream (for my boy) / coffee and cake (for me) and then home for a bit of play. And I sit here tonight wondering how it all could have gone so fast and before I know it the working week will start again.
This will be my last week (+1 day) acting so I want to tick a couple of biggies off my list and thereby charge that ship forward with strength and confidence. Bring it on, I say.
:-) M
Friday, October 14, 2011
I'M BAAAAACK
Woohoo what a relief to see the end of this week. Here's the low down on it.
I managed to stay off FB and Blogger for the 5 days - apart from PMing my boss about a work issue that warranted her attention. It was 2 minutes on FB and then off again.
My exam is done and dusted and I think I managed to write enough crap to get me a pass mark - which is all I'm aiming for. Now before you all go thinking 'well thats not very aspirational" let me explain my week.
We got our exam case study last Friday. I have promised myself that weekends are NOT work time so I didnt look at the case study until Monday. This has been week 2 of my Acting Director stint. Work is mega busy. Leaving at or by 5pm is a luxury and even then there are still a million things to do. On Monday I finished around 6pm but we were kid free and had a cheap and cheerful meal out locally. Tuesday was little better. Wednesday was my treat day when Peter had the day off and my boys took me out to lunch in between all the fun they were having. To compensate, I went in early and left around 5.15.
My study time has been limited to evenings after dinner AND I've taken the time to listen to my boy read on the nights he's been home. At best I've managed 2 hours study a night before I was so physically and menatlly exhausted that sleep was the only option. On the bright side, getting to bed at a reasonable hour meant that I could set my alarm to do some training - or movement - in the mornings. I actually achieved: legs and abs / core training on Monday; back / chest and tris and Tuesday; on Wednesday I walked to and from work - about 45 minutes each way; on Thursday I did shoulders and bis and this morning I managed a 55 minute walk. All of this helped to keep me in a good place both physically and mentally to better cope with the work and study pressures.
Some of my colleagues from the management training course had taken leave this week to prepare for their exams - I should be so lucky!! THEY deserve credits and distinctions, and I'll settle for a pass knowing that I still have my sanity intact and I didnt work myself into the ground for those marks. Its all about balance, priorities and apportioning time accordingly. In fact one of my colleagues said to me today that she had decided to take a leaf from MY book and make some "me time" a priority. She had realised that exercise was not something you should do IF you had time (which would be never) but to make time for it and hence score your "me time".
Finally on the food front its been interesting to observe that when there is SO much happening and the pressure is on on so many fronts, I never had time to think about binging. I made sure I had food at work so that I wouldnt get to feeling starving hungry but I ate mindfully and made pretty good, healthy choices without being obsessive about it. I drank wine every day but often only 1 or 1 1/2 glasses (except tonight, of course). I didnt have many sweets. A quick check in with MM on Wednesday was all good - in fact a little better than I thought it would be. Honestly, what more could you ask for??!!
I know in the past that times like this have sent me straight to Bingesville. I would eat, eat and eat some more to dull the pain of pressure and stress and seek out those 5 or so minutes of feeling good while your mouth is full of sweets. But I have wised up to the fact that this is not the answer nor the way to go. So I made a little pact with myself to honour myself and accept that when I was trying to achieve so much I probably wouldnt achieve greatness and to be ok with that.
And so here I am, ok with myself, with what I've achived and how I've gone about it. Now there is an awesome weekend ahead to enjoy and I'm heading off to bed so that tomorrow and the fun comes around quickly.
Cheers all
M
I managed to stay off FB and Blogger for the 5 days - apart from PMing my boss about a work issue that warranted her attention. It was 2 minutes on FB and then off again.
My exam is done and dusted and I think I managed to write enough crap to get me a pass mark - which is all I'm aiming for. Now before you all go thinking 'well thats not very aspirational" let me explain my week.
We got our exam case study last Friday. I have promised myself that weekends are NOT work time so I didnt look at the case study until Monday. This has been week 2 of my Acting Director stint. Work is mega busy. Leaving at or by 5pm is a luxury and even then there are still a million things to do. On Monday I finished around 6pm but we were kid free and had a cheap and cheerful meal out locally. Tuesday was little better. Wednesday was my treat day when Peter had the day off and my boys took me out to lunch in between all the fun they were having. To compensate, I went in early and left around 5.15.
My study time has been limited to evenings after dinner AND I've taken the time to listen to my boy read on the nights he's been home. At best I've managed 2 hours study a night before I was so physically and menatlly exhausted that sleep was the only option. On the bright side, getting to bed at a reasonable hour meant that I could set my alarm to do some training - or movement - in the mornings. I actually achieved: legs and abs / core training on Monday; back / chest and tris and Tuesday; on Wednesday I walked to and from work - about 45 minutes each way; on Thursday I did shoulders and bis and this morning I managed a 55 minute walk. All of this helped to keep me in a good place both physically and mentally to better cope with the work and study pressures.
Some of my colleagues from the management training course had taken leave this week to prepare for their exams - I should be so lucky!! THEY deserve credits and distinctions, and I'll settle for a pass knowing that I still have my sanity intact and I didnt work myself into the ground for those marks. Its all about balance, priorities and apportioning time accordingly. In fact one of my colleagues said to me today that she had decided to take a leaf from MY book and make some "me time" a priority. She had realised that exercise was not something you should do IF you had time (which would be never) but to make time for it and hence score your "me time".
Finally on the food front its been interesting to observe that when there is SO much happening and the pressure is on on so many fronts, I never had time to think about binging. I made sure I had food at work so that I wouldnt get to feeling starving hungry but I ate mindfully and made pretty good, healthy choices without being obsessive about it. I drank wine every day but often only 1 or 1 1/2 glasses (except tonight, of course). I didnt have many sweets. A quick check in with MM on Wednesday was all good - in fact a little better than I thought it would be. Honestly, what more could you ask for??!!
I know in the past that times like this have sent me straight to Bingesville. I would eat, eat and eat some more to dull the pain of pressure and stress and seek out those 5 or so minutes of feeling good while your mouth is full of sweets. But I have wised up to the fact that this is not the answer nor the way to go. So I made a little pact with myself to honour myself and accept that when I was trying to achieve so much I probably wouldnt achieve greatness and to be ok with that.
And so here I am, ok with myself, with what I've achived and how I've gone about it. Now there is an awesome weekend ahead to enjoy and I'm heading off to bed so that tomorrow and the fun comes around quickly.
Cheers all
M
Sunday, October 9, 2011
SHORT BREAK FROM BLOGGING
This will be my last post until Friday night (or later). I vow to stay off both Blogger and Facebook until my exam is finished (11am Friday). If you find me here or commenting on another blog please feel free to give me a right royal telling off. My schedule with work and exam prep means these two favourites have to be shelved for a few days.
The weekend has been awesome. I had a lovely lunch out with my BF yesterday, something we dont do very often at all. Peter and I stayed home last night and I made my healthy(ish) version of chicken parmis. We had them with locally grown asparagus with a little butter and slivered almonds. The parmis had a generous serving of veges in the tomato sauce topping and of course I go light on the cheese. Leaving room to enjoy a wine or two without inhaling mega calories (not that we count them anyway).
Today I went to Bikram (hot) yoga after being away for a couple of weeks. I never cease to be amazed at how tiring a workout it is. I literally felt like I had the life sucked out of me AND I drove there and back unlike other Sundays where I've had to walk 30 mins+ each way. Now THAT is tiring. I literally drag myself home.
After yoga, brunch and a shower it was off to ice skating with my boy. My poor legs found it really hard to switch from "OMG we are SO tired" mode to "yeah we can ice skate" mode. It took quite a while before they were working properly and I could skate as opposed to just gliding along. I think the highlight was going out for a coffee and a biscuit after :-)
So on that note I'll sum up with my rough plan for the week:
Monday: leg training
Tuesday: 50 min walk (maybe 55 - 60 if I can get up straight away)
Wednesday: upper body training - no evening Bikram as I'll be working / studying
Thursday: upper body training - those bits I dont do on Wednesday
Friday: walk - aiming for at least 30 minutes in anticipation of a late night studying on Thursday.
If I achieve 80% of that I'll be really happy. Oh and of course there's the food side of things but that seems to be going ok so I'll live by the motto: IF IT AINT BROKE, DONT FIX IT.
Cheers all til Friday
M
The weekend has been awesome. I had a lovely lunch out with my BF yesterday, something we dont do very often at all. Peter and I stayed home last night and I made my healthy(ish) version of chicken parmis. We had them with locally grown asparagus with a little butter and slivered almonds. The parmis had a generous serving of veges in the tomato sauce topping and of course I go light on the cheese. Leaving room to enjoy a wine or two without inhaling mega calories (not that we count them anyway).
Today I went to Bikram (hot) yoga after being away for a couple of weeks. I never cease to be amazed at how tiring a workout it is. I literally felt like I had the life sucked out of me AND I drove there and back unlike other Sundays where I've had to walk 30 mins+ each way. Now THAT is tiring. I literally drag myself home.
After yoga, brunch and a shower it was off to ice skating with my boy. My poor legs found it really hard to switch from "OMG we are SO tired" mode to "yeah we can ice skate" mode. It took quite a while before they were working properly and I could skate as opposed to just gliding along. I think the highlight was going out for a coffee and a biscuit after :-)
So on that note I'll sum up with my rough plan for the week:
Monday: leg training
Tuesday: 50 min walk (maybe 55 - 60 if I can get up straight away)
Wednesday: upper body training - no evening Bikram as I'll be working / studying
Thursday: upper body training - those bits I dont do on Wednesday
Friday: walk - aiming for at least 30 minutes in anticipation of a late night studying on Thursday.
If I achieve 80% of that I'll be really happy. Oh and of course there's the food side of things but that seems to be going ok so I'll live by the motto: IF IT AINT BROKE, DONT FIX IT.
Cheers all til Friday
M
Friday, October 7, 2011
KEEPING THE BALANCE FRONT AND CENTRE
Today I completed the last of 6 modules that were my management training course. We have an exam next Friday and a work based project due early next year to complete the course. All I can say is "phew". I've loved the intellectual stimulation that an adult learning environment provides. The topics have been interesting and well presented ... even if I did come out of some with my brain feeling like it had been fried. A group of my course colleagues went out for a drink after we finished today and it was a great mini wind down.
I wont go on about work because little will change over the next few weeks but I will say that at the end of week one, the ship is still sailing in the right direction. I'm happy with that ... albeit keeping it going is exhausting LOL.
Family time has been ok under the circumstances. Today my boy spent the day at a friend's place which was a win win for us and the other family as both boys are only children so having a friend to play with is a real bonus. For us, it gave grandma and grandpa a day off.
On the health and fitness front I'm pleased that Tuesday's gastro lurgy did not hang around and I bounced back fairly quickly on Wednesday. I've maintained a good combination of weights and walking but sadly the Bikram yoga has been off my schedule. In fact, I did a killer back and chest session on Monday which left me with some serious DOMS on Tuesday. So not only was I battling the wierd tummy and associated aches and pains from feeling sick but every upper body movement was mega painful too. I remember undressing to get into bed (at 4.30pm) and not being able to get my bra off because my arms were too sore to reach behind LOL.
So thats been my week and I'm in a good place physically and emotionally and therefore I feel I can handle just about anything. Now the challenge is to keep this balance and positive outlook front and centre.
Cheers all
M
I wont go on about work because little will change over the next few weeks but I will say that at the end of week one, the ship is still sailing in the right direction. I'm happy with that ... albeit keeping it going is exhausting LOL.
Family time has been ok under the circumstances. Today my boy spent the day at a friend's place which was a win win for us and the other family as both boys are only children so having a friend to play with is a real bonus. For us, it gave grandma and grandpa a day off.
On the health and fitness front I'm pleased that Tuesday's gastro lurgy did not hang around and I bounced back fairly quickly on Wednesday. I've maintained a good combination of weights and walking but sadly the Bikram yoga has been off my schedule. In fact, I did a killer back and chest session on Monday which left me with some serious DOMS on Tuesday. So not only was I battling the wierd tummy and associated aches and pains from feeling sick but every upper body movement was mega painful too. I remember undressing to get into bed (at 4.30pm) and not being able to get my bra off because my arms were too sore to reach behind LOL.
So thats been my week and I'm in a good place physically and emotionally and therefore I feel I can handle just about anything. Now the challenge is to keep this balance and positive outlook front and centre.
Cheers all
M
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
I BEEN SICK
We had a fabulous weekend celebrating our niece's 1st birthday. The in-laws arrived home from their OS holiday and came straight to Adelaide for the event. Lots of time spent together which is always very enjoyable.
What wasnt so enjoyable though was the lurgy that had made its way through our family: SIL was sick on Thursday; BIL was sick on Friday and into the weekend as well; MIL got it Monday and sadly threw up the beautiful lunch I made :-( and then I got it yesterday. Nausea, no apetite whatsoever, shivering cold, achey and just blaaah all day. When I say "no apetite" it was more a case of "I dont dare eat or I'm sure I'll throw it up." I left work at 4pm (happy I lasted that long) and came home straight to bed, cranked my electric blanket up to 3 and shivered through the next 4 hours.
Luckliy my iron constitution kicked in and I'm ok today. Work is ridiculously busy and there have been moments when I've really felt the strain but then Peter told me how much extra I got in my pay and it eased the pain somewhat :-) Despite the illness I'm maintaining balance, nurturing my health and wellbeing and pouring energy into my job. My boy hasnt been totally neglected either and I even managed to bake a cake and make cheese scones for Peter to take to work for morning tea.
Director by day. Domestic goddess by night. LOL
M
What wasnt so enjoyable though was the lurgy that had made its way through our family: SIL was sick on Thursday; BIL was sick on Friday and into the weekend as well; MIL got it Monday and sadly threw up the beautiful lunch I made :-( and then I got it yesterday. Nausea, no apetite whatsoever, shivering cold, achey and just blaaah all day. When I say "no apetite" it was more a case of "I dont dare eat or I'm sure I'll throw it up." I left work at 4pm (happy I lasted that long) and came home straight to bed, cranked my electric blanket up to 3 and shivered through the next 4 hours.
Luckliy my iron constitution kicked in and I'm ok today. Work is ridiculously busy and there have been moments when I've really felt the strain but then Peter told me how much extra I got in my pay and it eased the pain somewhat :-) Despite the illness I'm maintaining balance, nurturing my health and wellbeing and pouring energy into my job. My boy hasnt been totally neglected either and I even managed to bake a cake and make cheese scones for Peter to take to work for morning tea.
Director by day. Domestic goddess by night. LOL
M
Saturday, October 1, 2011
SEPTEMBER ROUNDUP OCTOBER GOALS
Well I guess it's time to reflect on September and look forward to October.
Hmmmm September didn't go quite as planned. It got off to a great start but after peter's birthday celebrations in the middle, the wheels fell off for me and I had a few episodes of binge eating again. I know the cause was a combination of things like boredom with my meals, stressing about work, dealing with my lack of self confidence etc. Yeah blah, blah, blah you might say and I might even agree with you LOL but sometimes the logic and the toughness goes out the window and old habits take hold again. I did get some comfort from a post I saw on FB depicting the road to success. In one box it was believed to be a straight line rising steadily. In the other box labelled "actual" it was a very messy, squiggly line that eventually rose to the top but obviously after many twists, turns and movements back down as well. It made me laugh as I know in my case it is certainly true of me.
All that aside the reality was that it was a few days and whilst my weight might be up a little, I know it'll settle back down nicely on it's own when situation normal returns. And it's returning as of yesterday so I'm good with that.
My October goals are simple: do a good job of my time as acting director, nurture my physical health and wellbeing by eating well and staying active, that in turn will go a long way to keeping me balanced and emotionally well and finally (so not in order of importance)to devote time to my family. I can't take time off in these school holidays but I can make sure my boy enjoys a wide range if fun activities and gets time with me on the weekends.
So there you have it. Simple goals. Simple actions. Not looking for any outstanding results in terms of fitness etc but hoping the outstandingness is channelled into work instead.
M
Hmmmm September didn't go quite as planned. It got off to a great start but after peter's birthday celebrations in the middle, the wheels fell off for me and I had a few episodes of binge eating again. I know the cause was a combination of things like boredom with my meals, stressing about work, dealing with my lack of self confidence etc. Yeah blah, blah, blah you might say and I might even agree with you LOL but sometimes the logic and the toughness goes out the window and old habits take hold again. I did get some comfort from a post I saw on FB depicting the road to success. In one box it was believed to be a straight line rising steadily. In the other box labelled "actual" it was a very messy, squiggly line that eventually rose to the top but obviously after many twists, turns and movements back down as well. It made me laugh as I know in my case it is certainly true of me.
All that aside the reality was that it was a few days and whilst my weight might be up a little, I know it'll settle back down nicely on it's own when situation normal returns. And it's returning as of yesterday so I'm good with that.
My October goals are simple: do a good job of my time as acting director, nurture my physical health and wellbeing by eating well and staying active, that in turn will go a long way to keeping me balanced and emotionally well and finally (so not in order of importance)to devote time to my family. I can't take time off in these school holidays but I can make sure my boy enjoys a wide range if fun activities and gets time with me on the weekends.
So there you have it. Simple goals. Simple actions. Not looking for any outstanding results in terms of fitness etc but hoping the outstandingness is channelled into work instead.
M
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