FOOD, THOUGHTS AND COPING

Well there is no denying that today was a tough day and my post tonight will be about food, thoughts and coping because they all tie in together for me right now.

I know I go on about it but EOFY is a full-on stressful time (but I wont bore you with details). I've stayed pretty relaxed about it and have pretty much rolled with the punches but today I felt overwhelmed, under great pressure and annoyed about stuff. So there were lots of negative thoughts and feelings dominating my mind.

To compound this less than ideal situation, today my food just didnt satisfy. I ate breakfast and sat there wondering "is that it?" Totally not satisfied until I made an extra slice of toast and had it with natural peanut butter. Then because there was a specific issue that took up so much of my time today, I missed my morning cappuccino :-( I ate half of my pear which was woody and tart. Didnt enjoy it, at all :-( Lunch was ....meh  ... no satisfaction there either.

So all this is leading towards the "I want something yummy to eat - mainly for emotional reasons and not true hunger." How else can I deal with these feelings? I'm craving comfort in some form. Now because I'm at work there are a range of things that are not feasible due to meetings, phone calls etc.

So I made a conscious decision to have a packet of salt and vinegar chips and enjoy them as my daily treat. I savoured the crunchiness, the saltiness and the sharpness of the vinegar AND I MOVED ON to the next problem to solve.

Later in the afternoon when I was hungry I decided to have a Bakers Delight scone with a cup of tea and again I enjoyed every mouthful. I could have felt like "bad girl, you used food to cope" but instead I chose to see this as not cheating, failing or being naughty.

Both of these situations are a major breakthrough for me and my all / nothing personality. Previously I would have devoured the chips and then proceeded through an eating frenzy of anything and everything - after all once you've blown it, you may as well do it properly.

And as I type tonight I can honestly say that my choices and decisions today sit well with me. I'll not be freaking out or stressing about the scales. I'm not going near them. Tomorrow I might eat less, or I might eat similar. All I'm keeping in my mind is that my one and only goal is not to binge in an out of control eating frenzy.

M