DAY TWO AND AN 'AHA' MOMENT

Sometimes I think that writing my blog and reading others is just a bit of indulgent time wasting. I mean, I could be studying (probably should be LOL), I could be cleaning my oven, I could be preparing in advance tomorrow night's dinner or I could be watching TV with my husband (boooooring - thats just not me).

But every now and then I read something that REALLY hits home. That I may have read in some other form somewhere else but reading something that has made a big difference to a real person sort of has a LOT more impact. Ladies and gentlemen I refer to this awesome post from the equally awesome KatieP. In particular this paragraph:

"I have formulated rules for my life. Yes, I did say rules. In the same way that killing or hurting another human being is a rule, not a guideline, I do have rules. I will no longer engage in self-abuse or self-hatred. Eating until I am bloated and nauseous is breaking that rule. I can not binge because for me it is morally wrong. I cannot eat in secret and hide the evidence because it is lying to myself and violating my moral code of authenticity. I cannot count calories because it disregards my commitment to trusting my body."

It made me wonder if I could make a similar commitment to myself. Why havent I done this already? Or rather, when I (sort of) did, why didnt I honour it? To a chronic binger, the answer may not be so simple but what would I lose by trying again? Binging is the ONE eating behaviour that is dragging me down physically, mentally and I guess morally (I'm not sure about spiritually as I'm a bit void on that.) It is THE one thing I'd really like to change about myself so whats stopping me? (Again the answer to that might not be a one-liner). A voice inside me says "Make the change. Make the commitment to yourself. You have nothing to lose by adopting this different mind-set."

Thank you Katie.

Now onto the less deep and meaningful which is my quick round up of Day 2.

I ran for 40 minutes again and felt the same as yesterday (not good.) Now its got me thinking, toasted and buttered hot cross buns may taste great for those brief moments in your mouth but eating as many as I did has left me feeling heavy and sluggish. Running is a chore when your joints hurt and you feel pathetic shuffling along.

Today I managed a little bonus incidental exercise when I took my boy ice skating. Sadly it was very crowded being school holidays, but I managed a few laps without the support frame so I was happy with that.

I'm enjoying being back eating some of my old favourites - like seed and grain toast with scambled eggs / egg whites and mushrooms; my favourite green veges with left over BBQ chicken and leftover lasagne meat and skim cappuccinos (hold the cake LOL). A few more days of this and I should have my pep back. Oh and I must have a little brag - I've scored another alcohol free day today (gasp).

Finally I also did all my rehabs and stretches after neglecting them a bit over Easter.

So another good day and some thinking about how I want to live my life from here on.

:-) Magda