BACK IN BLOGLAND

So here I am back in Blogland and I must admit, I really missed it too. Ironically I found myself mooching around on the computer on most evenings where I could have punched out a quick, therapeutic post. Whether life is great or shit (in my head) for me writing is a release and a form of therapy so I'm getting back into it.

In my never ending quest to be a better person and to be truly happy within myself I've been doing some reading lately. Stuff that I thought would help me understand me, understand stuff, understand why we do the things we do, understand what it takes to aim high and achieve big goals. Anthony Robbins' "Awaken the Giant Within" started out as a good guide with LOTS of detail and lots of explanations covering everything imaginable. For a while I was quite "sold" on him and to some extent I still am but I'm a bit overwhelmed by the detail and his "Americanness" in approaching some issues. For now, he's been put aside but some of his messages have been etched into my mind.

More recently I treated myself to Craig Harper's "Stop F*cking Around". Peter saw the cover and asked me if there was something he should know :-) I must admit, I like Craig's style. No bullshit or all bullshit depending on where you sit. Some of his chapters hit (my) nail right on the head.

So with all this reading and all of my own thoughts, emotions, rationales, beliefs, non-beliefs and stuff I've manged to create some pretty amazing chaos in my head. Honestly I have moments where I feel 6 years old and I dont understand the world, or me or all of the stuff. Yet again, how did I get to this place?

Its fair to say that right now I could really use some time out, time to step away from my training and the pressure of the HM, time to heal physically and to put my head right. Not to mention stuff coming up later this year which is good exciting and scary exciting too.

More on that tomorrow. Oh and there is this CHANGE thing that I havent quite got my head around just yet.

M