I JUST WANT TO SAY .....

..... a week ago I updated my FB status with "Sometimes life serves you a big bowl of premium ice cream in your favourite flavour with a big fat juicy cherry on top."  This referred to a new project that I started at work and although it was going to be make life REALLY busy, I loved the new challenge.

I really smartened up my act and leaned down a bit for the masquerade ball last weekend. Hence I was quietly proud to put my photos "out there" and thank you to all the bloggers who left me some really lovely comments. (More on that a little later.)

I must admit though that this week has been really tough and not so positive (refer FB post from last night.) Let me explain.

Work had recommended me for a very popular and difficult to get into personal development / leadership course that our department sponsors and therefore (inadvertently ) gets an applicant in every year. I submitted my application earlier this year and was interviewed a few weeks ago. A few people at work knew that I was the "next candidate" and everybody was really excited for me because "it was such a great opportunity" and "I'd get so much out of it."

Well yesterday I received a letter telling me I hadnt been accepted. I was devastated. I wasnt good enough. They had assessed me and decided that I didnt have leadership potential. People doing the course or who had done it previously all said for the interview "Just be yourself. Be genuine." So I was and it didnt get me through. I now hold the honour of the first person from our department to not make the cut. There are SO many negative things going through my head on SO many levels :-(

This is really hard to write and I'm crying (again) as I do so. I've tried hard to focus on my new project so that I deliver it well no matter how much work it takes (and trust me its taking a LOT of extra work). Sadly I havent been as focussed on my health and fitness goals BUT its only been one day.

So this weekend I will regroup and refocus on what I need to do for ME. I know that from now til Christmas my worklife will be extraordinarily busy and demanding so taking the best possible care of me is imperative. And on that note, I cant thank enough those bloggers who left comments on my photos. Pip you have lifted my spirits and made me shed "happy tears" with your lovely comments. Thank you SO MUCH.

Its way too late for me to be up now so I'm off and not sure when I can post again but hopefully my next instalment of Magda's Musings can go up soon.

M