BLOGGING OVER AND OUT

There seems to be a bit of a flurry of bloggers taking time out from or just quitting blogging. I've decided to join those ranks.

I'm now well into my management training course at Adelaide Uni and seeing that work is kindly paying for this training, I feel its only right to give back proportionately. This means doing my assignments on the weekends and course reading in the evenings. This will continue into January or February of next year and then I'll reassess my commitment to further study.

My son is finding this year at school very challenging and I need to spend more time helping him get settled into a good study routine. There is more to this than I'm prepared to write about but as Peter said recently "the honeymoon is over and we need to step up our support."

Sadly I havent had a significant lotto win so work is a constant in my life. I have my ups and downs as everybody does I'm sure.

On the health and fitness front its the same old and this is one of the reasons I've decided not to blog. Frankly I'm sick of writing about how marvellously I'm doing one minute and then in the next minute I'm binging again. I ask myself "whats the point of putting it out there?" and I no longer have a good reason. 

I know I over think and over analyse and flit from one perspective to another and back again. I think I have a way to go before I find "my way" and I'd rather keep that journey private. I bore myself with my writings sometimes.

Finally the Half Marathon is fast approaching but I'm no longer confident that I'll run it. Frankly its a physical struggle as well as a mental one. I'm not rushing my decision though and will give it at least another week to see how I fare. Running for an hour + 40 last weekend left me very stiff and sore. I'm dreading this weekend's 2 hour run.

So thats it folks. I wave a farewell and although I'm leaving on a bit of a down note I just want to include some pics that make me proud and happy.

Almost at the finish line of my 2010 Half Marathon.

From this in December 2006.

To this in October 2007.

My family (lazy bunch!!)

Just the three of us.

And my friends.

And I like how I look in this picture. I felt great that night.

Cheers all

M

A BIT STUCK FOR WORDS RIGHT NOW

So many balls in the air. I need to get better at juggling or put some of the balls down for a while.

I actually need a "me day" to breathe and regroup before all the balls come crashing down. Fluffing around on Blogger and Facebook isnt helping my situation (oh to conquer the addiction!!)

I'll be back when some of this pressure is off.

M

THE 55 DAY CHALLENGE - PLANNING

When we embark on a fitness / weight loss challenge or just commit to a weight loss or fitness goal it would be so much easier if we could just slip into our zone of eating right / training regularly and nurturing our headspace. No outside distractions, no temptations, no challenges just get on with doing it, all in the perfect world.

Well that is NEVER going to happen so we better accept that there will be distractions, temptations and challenges aplenty. So what can we do to give ourselves a better chance of succeedding?

PLAN

Think ahead and assess the situations we'll be in. What specific challenges will we face? How will they make us feel? How can we turn a negative into a postitive? What can we do to manage or handle that situation better than we may have previously? Sometimes just BEING AWARE will make us stop and reassess some of our behaviours.

Over the coming weeks my social calendar really kicks up a gear. Peter and I are usually quieter home bodies which we love but at certain times of the year this goes out the window and its all about visiting and eating with family, eating out, drinks out at friends' places repeated over and over.

It would be too easy to just give up trying to lose weight and enjoy the food and wine without much restraint but I dread coming back here in a few weeks time and declaring that I'm "starting over." So I'm planning ahead. Planning to work on my focus and commitment to keep my headspace where it needs to be. Planning healthy meal options when I control what food is available and planning to be the driver when we're out so that I limit my wine intake. I also have a plethora of little wierd and wonderful strategies that work a treat when faced with lots of food challenges.

I may not shed kilos at a rate of knots but if I can keep the loss moving slowly in the right direction then I'm considering that a WIN. I can always ramp it up a little down the track if I feel the need. It starts tomorrow and finishes ... well I guess it doesnt really finish because there are always situations that challenge us and having a perpetual plan is probably a good thing.

I ran for an hour this morning and felt ok. Eats have been good and I'm feeling pretty damned good despite my usual aches and pains.

:-) M

THE 55 DAY CHALLENGE - MIND POWER

Maintaining a positive and focussed headspace is vitally important to achieving success in our endeavours. I reckon its about 20% effort and 80% attitude and if the attitude is right then the 20% hardly feels like an effort at all (OK remind me of that when my long training runs are 2 hours for the last 7 weeks of my HM training LOL).

Self help gurus have promoted this through every medium imaginable in ways that are too many to mention. I'm sure that every one of you (my readers) would have read at least one - if not several - self help books. But how many times do we read them, have a lightbulb moment, only to have it to go out once we're back in the routine of life. I can firmly put my hand up as being guilty of this. Read lots. Thought about it lots. Acted ... well not much really.

But lately I've actively gone about changing this. I'm not talking about a massive swing to some wierdly extreme bahaviours, just a better understanding of what drives us / me, how to harness it, how to banish negative thoughts and embrace positive self talk. Its been a gradual process and apart from the last couple of weeks when I couldnt be arsed about it, its been working well. (Even more evidence that if you work at it, it works!!)

Take this morning for example. I was doing my second sprint training session for the week. I felt ok but a couple of days on lower carbs (I'll rectify this) and I was just plain SLOW. Attempting 2 mins out and 2 mins back at 80% effort with the goal being to get back to the exact start point, I was short of the mark every time. In fact on my 4th and last effort I was well short of the half way mark as well, let alone the start point. Runkeeper told me my speed and I just cringed as it was only a little over my training run speeds when I'm running well.

So the negative thoughts came thick and came fast. "You're too slow." "Oh this is too hard." "Why even bother to lose weight for the HM, you're going to be really slow anyway". And then I found myself planning my little junk food party as part of my commiserations. Oh boy for a few minutes there I was on a downward slide.

But then I realised what I was doing and pulled myself up on it and forced myself to stop that thought process. Yes I'd report in to Pat that today's sprints were slow but that was my 80% effort on that day at that time. I reminded myself that when I run the race this year, I'm running it as a different person to what I was a year ago. I may well be slower but 7 months ago I couldnt run at all. Hey lets look at all the positives!!

When my headset changed and I switched back to being positive I knew that I didnt need or want the junk food party any more. I was looking forward to a day of eating well and honouring my body so that it would return the favour when I asked it to run for 1 hour tomorrow.

Dont underestimate the power of the mind and the important role it plays in achieving the big hairy arsed goals as well as everyday peace and happiness. You can think, plan and come up with a kick arse diet and training program but if the mind's not on board ... you're fighting an uphill battle.

I'd love to hear your tricks and trade secrets for harnessing your mind power and how thats helped you achieve what you're after.

Cheers

M

THE 55 DAY CHALLENGE - DAY 2

Day 1: all good. I even made an extra effort at Zumba last night and registered a 200+ calorie burn for the hour. Usually with so much stopping and starting and not a lot of high impact / high intensity work, I struggle to get my heart rate into my training zone - let alone keep it there.

This morning I decdided to check in with the Metal Monster just to see where I was at. So a pleasant surprise to see I'm in the 66s (66.6 precisely - we'll ignore that that's the Devil's number LOL). So I'm shooting for a total loss of at least 4.7 kgs which sounds so easy but in actual fact its harder than losing 10 kilos when you have lots of weight to lose. You know what they say about "losing the last 5." Famous people have even written books about it.

Today's challenge was an impromptu invite to lunch with the girls in my section. I had brought my lunch to work but when the invite landed in my inbox I didnt want to refuse it as its not often that we'll go out for a social catch up. I also know that the pub we were going to makes a lovely salt and pepper squid with chips and salad which I usually have with a buttered turkish bread roll (not exactly the sort of lunch that will help me lose this last 5).

But today I made a serious attempt to break that habit and ordered a squid and chicken salad instead. I skipped the buttered roll and had 1 glass of wine which was a very reasonable compromise, I thought. A couple of hours later and I'm getting hungry so the meal wasnt too big or too heavy.

Training today was my upper body weights circuit repeated 3 times followed by a little core strengthening work. All up 30 minutes of muscle stimulation chosen because it was raining and I didnt want to run in the rain. Mum is making pancakes (crepe style ones) tonight, it being Shrove Tuesday and I plan to have one after dinner of roasted chook and veges. Hopefully tomorrow is fine and I can do my next training run.

Headspace is pretty good so cruising and looking forward to Day 3.

:-) Magda

THE 55 DAY CHALLENGE.

Today I draw the line in the sand and recommit to my goal of running the Greenbelt HM on 1 May at sub 62kgs. A couple of weeks ago I wavered off course and ended up faffing around. Even after writing this post my commtiment lasted a day before I was faffing around again. I just havent been in the right headspace and have been too relaxed with wine, sweets and other treats. I saw the 65s but seemed to get stuck there and am now back in the 67s (have not weighed but I can feel it).

Yesterday I uploaded some pics taken a week ago at a friend's party. Although I looked quite good with my makeup beautifully done and my hair nice, I was horribly shocked at my size. OK I'm not huge and as a before pic its not THAT bad but regardless I thought "gee am I THAT big?" Add to that a very distinct spreading of my mid section at this weight and the warning bells have gone off loud and clear. Its time to suck it up, reign it in and focus on achieving this goal not just for aesthetic reasons but for health reasons too. I wont go on about how much easier and more enjoyable it is to run at a lighter weight and how much less strain it puts on my injured joints and muscles.

Over the next 8 weeks I'll be using my blog to document this journey. Yep it'll be 90% about my headspace (most important ingredient), diet (second most important) and training. I need to be "accountable" and I find the writing quite therapeutic. I've chosen to do this alone with a little (or maybe a lot) of help from a silent "friend". More about that later.

So here's to Day 1 of 55. I've done a killer sprint training session this morning and have all my meals planned and under control. Headspace is good with a strong sense of commitment and determination (as you'd expect seeing I'm "starting over".) First mini goal is sub 65 at which point I'll decide on an appropriate reward.

:-) M

THE GIRLS AT LUNCH



Pip is visiting Adelaide so we finally met and caught up for lunch today with Kristy as well. It was a lovely get together and I felt we could have talked for hours more. Pip was almost exactly how I imagined her but much slimmer and more toned than she looks in pictures and how she portrays herself on her blog. I love her accent and the Geena Davis in her (she looks like a young version of her).

Today's run was absolutely FANTASTIC. Everything worked properly and I got a good pace going and maintained it for the hour. I think I did my fastest average speed today despite a fierce headwind and some uphill stretches. I had the Peas playing and I finished the run with 3 of their best songs. I even did a bit of a sing along LOL.

When I have runs like this the endorphins kick in and I'm on cloud 9. I feel invincible, happy, energetic and just so bloody positive. I swear its worth bottling and selling for a damned good price. I cant imagine giving up something that I love so much so I'll keep working on managing my injury and learning to roll with the not so good days.

Time for bed as its (another) busy day tomorrow.

M

  

SOME RELIEF

Thank you to all the bloggers who commented or contacted me personally after my last desperate post. Your thoughtfulness and kindness is really appreciated. I read the comments and spent a couple of days digesting them (as is my usual way). There is some great advice there that I'll pick up on.

The chiro today was good as he did some serious ITB releases which had me on the verge of screaming the surgery down. I also got some effective relief just through TOM arriving. Which brings me to the realisation that in the lead up to TOM my lower back, glutes and legs will usually be more sensitive and prone to pain, irrespective of what else I may be doing or have done in the lead up. To monitor this I'm going to start a diary to record a whole lot of physical and emotional stuff to confirm that pattern.

I'm running for 1 hour tomorrow so we'll see just how I do and how I pull up after. Come back to read about it.

M

TODAY I NEED THE EAR OF MY BLOGLAND FRIENDS.....

I need some encouragement, words of wisdom or just a hug. I dont want to talk about this with others for fear of what I may have to face.

Today I'm in pain again. I ran for 50 minutes this morning and I felt ok. I've been eating well including dinner at my parents' last night where mum made pizza and I stopped after 2 slices (could have eaten 3 or 4 but knew that I'd regret it as soon as it was down). I'm well hydrated and I've been doing all my rehabs religiously since Sunday (got a bit slack on Friday and Saturday). Plus I had a rest day yesterday.

So in light of all those ducks being in line, there really is no reason why today I would have sharp shooting pains through my left glute and my thighs again. Although its not as bad as it was around August last year, its exactly the type of pain I was having then. At one stage then it was so debilitating that I had 3 days off work and battled depression with it as well. I'm self massaging but its not providing any relief plus I'm at work so am sitting a lot of the time.

A colleague saw me hobbling around the office and commented on it. I'm walking like a slow, old person. I'm battling this stupid voice in my head that flips from "go on have some junk to eat becasue it'll make you feel better" to "how on earth do you think you can run a half marathon when it hurts to walk, let alone run?"

I'm really battling  with self doubt about the HM and reminding myself that junk food will give me 5 minutes of pleasure before guaranteed pain that'll last a lot longer. I dont want to be around people and have to act professional and nice but doing so helps to keep my mind off it. I have a chiro appointment on Friday afternoon because I cant get there earlier.

Sorry, I've just had a big whinge (one of my pet peeves) but on top of the pain I feel scared, disappointed and worried. I'm struggling to summon any positive emotions. 

M

FEB GOAL REVIEW AND MOVING FORWARD

My February mini goals review follows.

1. Keep developing my healthy relationship with food (eg no binging) Well I was doing great until things fell apart and then they really fell apart. Last week the Binge Monster scored a win but the gloves are on and he aint winning another round. Overall the month was good but I didnt achieve my goal of sub 65. I give myself 6/10 for a good effort overall and for not letting the binge drag me into a state of "woe is me I'm a bad, bad person blah, blah, blah".

2. Complete 2 upper body training sessions / week. I managed this most of the time, maybe missing 1 or 2 sessions due to other commitments. Score 7/10.

3. Cross off the last 2 jobs on my non-negotiable list. Errr, I think they're still on the list (time to throw the list away, me thinks) LOL. 0/10.

4. ... and here's my biggie .... limit my alcohol to 2 standard drinks on the days when I do drink (usually only between Thursday and Sunday) - with one exception and thats my good friend's 50th at the end of the month. Well I was on track until last week but then I just didnt bother. End of story.

So a great month until last week but am definitely back on track now and feeling so much better for it.

Its all well and good to assess and review but what have I learnt from last month?

1. Sometimes I set goals for stuff I think I should do but that I'm not totally passionate about nor truly believe in. Or sometimes its stuff that deep down doesnt mean that much to me. From now on I want to think harder about what I put out there as my goals and not just blow a lot of hot air about.

2. When things around me changed (eg lack of routine last week) and my mindset slipped into complacency (I posted about this during the month), I lost sight of my big picture and the longer term stuff I've been working towards. Life is not a predictable ride with every twist and turn planned and I need to be more flexible in how I deal with new or challenging situations. I also need to remind myself of where I'm heading so that I stay focussed and moving forward.

Today I feel good again. I'm convinced I was dehydrated and poisoned with sugar. Both have since been rectified. The sugar will be purposely absent from my nutrition for a while longer. Legs are still sore but easing up slowly. My headspace is positive and life is looking up.

More about goals in my next post (remember I need time to assess what has meaning for me.)

Cheers

M