Well lets get back to my series of Magda's Musings with the next instalment: FORGIVE. LET GO. AND MOVE FORWARD.
When I worked with my SP last year, one of the most enlightening things I learnt was how my very high standards and expectations of myself were sabotaging my progress in weight / fat loss. Let me explain.
I was a chronic dieter, following various rigid and strict diets and always expecting that I'd do so to 100%. Yes I was in pursuit of perfection and when I didnt achieve it (which was inevitable) I would really beat myself up over it and convince myself that I was a failure. It was a vicious cycle that was really hard to break.
I worked with the SP to gain a more realistic and achievable outlook and to find a happier middle ground. Once I realised how important this was, I really committed to it. I'll never forget the conversations I had with Maddie where I'd be fretting over a particularly bad eating episode for which I had to beat myself up. She would constantly remind me "its just food." It took a while for this to make sense but now it does.
I'm wiser now. I have bad eating episodes like a lot of other people do (they jusy may not be as open about it). But instead of beating myself up and telling myself how bad or worthless I am, I've learnt to forgive, let it go and move forward. Its not always easy but my experience is showing that when I treat myself with love, compassion and kindness I'm more likely to act positively and to (obviously) feel better. This then leads to more positive behaviours and voila, that negative, downward spiral is no longer ruling my life.
Look its not the be all and end all but I believe it makes a big difference and I therefore focus on it if/when those bad eating episodes hit. Hopefully, over time they will get less and less.
Once again, I welcome your thoughts and comments.
I agree - and as I move on in my life, there's a lot less beating up that occurs (older and wiser, huh?)
ReplyDeleteSo true! I'm getting lots out of these articles Magda! Well written I think! :-)
ReplyDeleteMagda, I think this one thing makes an enormous difference. I replaced thoughts like "You've ruined EVERYTHING" with "well, you could have made a better choice, but never mind, it's not fatal - move on"
ReplyDeleteIt goes hand in hand with treating food as good or evil. I tell clients that food is food, it has no personality and no intentions.
Until they're able to fully grasp the "It's only food" concept, they're unlikely to be successful at keeping weight off. Guilt over a food choice (type or quantity) is the one thing guaranteed to keep you stuck in the binge/diet cycle for a looooong time.
Yes Liz it's nice to be moving into the wiser zone .... Not so sure about the older zone tho LOL
ReplyDeleteThanks Pip. Even if a tiny bit of what I write helps others then I'm really happy with that.
Absolutely Kek. I'm not there 100 percent but am working on it.