Some days are wine and roses,
others are vinegar and soursobs. I started in a wine and roses mood with lots
of happy ticks going off in my head: 5 straight days of training including 3
weights sessions; ate well this week really watching my portion sizes and kept
the junky stuff at bay; no dramas at work; happy family etc etc etc. Deep
inside me I had this little smug thing going on where I start to feel
invincible like I’m about 5 kilos lighter and looking haaaawt.
Today was the day I had set aside
to buy an essential item for my upcoming cruise. There will be 3 formal nights
on the ship and I have gorgeous outfits lined up for them. However there is a
slight problem in me being heavier than I’d like to be to do my outfits
justice. All 3 outfits are body hugging and clingy – if I was 5 kilos lighter
they’d look amazing but I’m not and I refuse to crash diet it off in the time I
have before we go away. So its shapewear
to the rescue!!
I ventured into Myer and selected
4 items, each in 2 sizes – still delusional that the smaller size might be
right for me; after all I WAS feeling rather invincible. Then into the change room for the massive
disrobing – its bloody cold here right now – and the trying on of said items. I
quickly realised that the larger size had my name on it as it had extraordinary
girdle-like properties. I didnt even waste my time trying on the small sizes –
after all the fabric can only stretch so far.
They say that trying on swimwear
is one of the worst and most depressing experiences that a woman can have. They
obviously said this BEFORE shapewear came on the market. OH MY LORD!! Picture
this: white flesh – and lots of it – lumpy, flabby and not pretty – squeezing
into the high waisted bike pants style shapewear (I want a smooth line from
under the bust to half way down my thigh). One pair had so many panels and
sections for the ‘perfect sculpt’ that I couldn’t even get it to fit my crotch.
Fail. Another pair came to just above my knee. Too long as two of my dresses
are just above the knees. It came down to a choice between 2 pairs that felt
somewhat ok and I chose the pair with the shorter leg and slightly darker nude
fabric.
That time in the changeroom
scrutinising myself in the shapewear was a real slap in the face. Pigs to
loving and accepting ourselves as we are. My rear view was dreadful and it
angered me that I had again let it get to this point. It re-stoked the fire in my belly
to stop making excuses and fix it. I’ve had a good week. Now I just need to
keep building on that. I had a vinegar and soursobs moment and then it turned
into this determination to take action. 50 will be here next year and I want to
look and feel better. I don’t want to be trying on a hot outfit for my birthday
celebration feeling depressed about my body.
That is all folks.
J M
I have a love/hate relationship with shapewear, Magda. Regardless of how trim you are, a clingy outfit needs the right underwear - the kind that's invisible, and that doesn't produce little rolls where they oughtn't to be.
ReplyDeleteI always haul out my bike short-style Spanx to wear under certain things and I love the smooth lines they produce. But I HATE wearing them for more than about two hours... The best part of the evening is always when you get home, drag them off and slip into your pjs or trackies.
The things we do...
"Pigs" indeed. I agree with you, and maybe now you can understand why I was feeling so "low" when we met a couple of weeks ago. We all have our own personal standards, and if we are not happy with what we see in the mirror then we need to fix it....can you tell I've been reading Craig Harper?lol out the window with politically correct. xo
ReplyDeleteOh ABSOLUTELY Kerryn. As evidenced by the post I'm about to write for today. And thank you for reminding me about this life saving miracle.
ReplyDeleteSandra, I totally get it. I've been in that dark down place as well just earlier this year and I dont want to go there again which means getting myself (my body) to a place that I'm happy with. We're definitely on the same page.