# 7: FORGIVE. LET GO AND LOOK FORWARD

Yesterday I found the list of the 10 musings that I had started to write several weeks ago. 6 have been crossed off and I thought this was good time to tackle number 7.

How often have you been let down by somebody close to you, somebody you trusted or somebody you thought would have known better? How often have you let yourself down? People hurt other people all of the time. They often dont mean to do it and sometimes dont even realise that they've done it. Rarely are people downright malicious or nasty - well I like to think so anyway. We cant change how other people act but we can decide how we react to it. Read on.

What about those times when you let yourself down? Maybe you made a downright bad choice - although itseemed like a good idea at the time - maybe you didnt act in your own best interest. For me this has taken the form of binge eating. The party in my mouth vs the long term effect of ingesting WAY too much food which is also WAY too unhealthy.

In my quest to understand me and life and all the bits and pieces in between I have learnt that you cant move forward without forgiving the wrongs that fall upon you - or that you bring upon yourself. I have spent many  days / weeks / months flogging myself emotionally for all my mistakes. You know what I mean, "well why am I not perfect? I should be. I know all the right things to do so why dont I do them?" For a long time I lived with "perfect or nothing" and when it was "nothing" there was lot of beating myself up over it.

Maybe with age comes some wisdom (along with wrinkles and stubborn kilos in unwanted places LOL) and the courage to forgive myself for my stuff ups. I no longer aspire to perfection but live with balance in the choices I make. Sometimes the scales sit evenly, sometimes they tip too far in either direction but essentially they come back to a "happy place."

It hasnt been easy to let go and it certainly hasnt been like flicking a switch but gradually over time I have learnt this vital skill. Life is all that much better for it. Harbouring negative emotions is counter productive. For me it even manifests into physical pain and I can well do without more of that.

Our experiences, thoughts and beliefs shape who we are today but they dont dictate who we can be tomorrow. I'd like to think that I look forward with realistic optimism and determination to achieve my goals - even if the road to be travelled isnt always the most direct route. Who knows, along the way I might just smell some fantastic roses, meet some interesting people and broaden my horizons. Yep looking forward inspires and excites me. How does it make you feel?

M