OMG I'm not sure what to make of this weekend. But it sure wasnt a bed of roses.
On Friday night I went to an MBA dinner put on by the uni. One of my colleagues from last year was going to attend with me but he wasnt there on the night. I dont know why. It was a great night but really hard work. Hard work making appropriate conversation. Hard work meeting new people. Hard work trying to fit in with the uni staff and the MBA students with dreams, ambitions and self confidence.
Saturday was spent in the usual whirl of ice skating lessons during which I do the pre-reading for Wednesday's accounting class, followed by dropping my boy at my mum's, grocery shopping, packing the groceries away and then going to my SIL's for her birthday dinner. Saturday night came with a couple of surprises - one VERY surprising and I was glad I wasnt drinking so I could take things on board and think about them.
I made the decision to train again today and went to Bikram yoga so as not to waste my 10 class pass. I was a disaster. Inflexible. Right groin giving way. Sharp pains in my lower back. Neck stiff and sore. I sat out the triangle pose but found it hard to control my thoughts and emotions and I could feel the tears coming. After the 2 minute savasana I decided to pack my things and go home early. I worked on my assignment luckily only having easy tidying up to do. But in the afternoon I dropped the boys at the cricket and went to a coffee shop to do my accounting prep. I dont know if it was just my headspace being so crappy or maybe I am dumb but I just wasnt getting this lesson. Again, tears coming. Feeling miserable and helpless but putting on a brave face when picking up my boys.
My evening has been a rush of housework (and its still not all done), haircut for my boy, dinner prep and clean up, making lunches and on and on it goes. Only after 9pm did I manage to numb out on FB and Blogger, unable to stop the downward spiral.
I read so many blogs and FB status updates from people who have their shit together. They have goals and they go after them. They are motivated and disciplined. They work hard. They know that a positive attitude goes a long way in helping them reach their goals. They have a set of principles that they live and die by. They are successful.
And then I look at myself in my downward spiral. Sigh.
M
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
SEEING OUT THIS WEEK
So glad to see the end of this week.
I had two interesting experiences today and I want to blog about both but its late and I'm tired.
So next two blog topics will be:
1. Looking through different eyes.
2. Uni dinner and what others see.
Good night for now though
M
I had two interesting experiences today and I want to blog about both but its late and I'm tired.
So next two blog topics will be:
1. Looking through different eyes.
2. Uni dinner and what others see.
Good night for now though
M
Thursday, February 9, 2012
THE HARDEST WEEK
And the award for the most feral workday goes to ....... drumroll...... TODAY!!!!
The only advantage being that I was SO engrossed in deadlines, writing to the CE, getting capital projects back on track and doing a quick practice of my project presentation that I didnt have time to think about my dicky back, neck etc
Without doubt, this has been one of the hardest weeks I've had for a while and I'll be honest and admit .... I'm struggling. My February plans and goals have fallen in a heap and I'm just in survival mode, looking for the silver lining on a cloud filled sky.
I need time. Time for me. Time to reflect and reconnect with whats important. Time to breathe. Time to rebuild my positive energy.
Maybe tomorrow? Maybe soon?
M
The only advantage being that I was SO engrossed in deadlines, writing to the CE, getting capital projects back on track and doing a quick practice of my project presentation that I didnt have time to think about my dicky back, neck etc
Without doubt, this has been one of the hardest weeks I've had for a while and I'll be honest and admit .... I'm struggling. My February plans and goals have fallen in a heap and I'm just in survival mode, looking for the silver lining on a cloud filled sky.
I need time. Time for me. Time to reflect and reconnect with whats important. Time to breathe. Time to rebuild my positive energy.
Maybe tomorrow? Maybe soon?
M
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
INJURY UPDATE AND HANGING ON
In a classic case of better late than never, I'm taking some rest days, starting with today. Following up with tomorrow and then seeing how I feel. I was planning to arrange another chiro appointment for later this week but was so inundated with work that it got pushed aside and now I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that my healing takes care of itself.
One of my uni colleagues called today as he was feeling overwhelmed with the study load and was considering pulling out of the Grad Cert (he too is finishing the assignment from last year's course). We shared our woes and I managed to convince him to hang in there as in a week (next Thursday) half of it will be over and then we only have our Grad Cert subject to worry about. I tell you, its this that keeps me hanging on.
Would love to blog more about the stuff I'm grappling with but right now I get a few minutes each day to process it and I need more time than that. If the Universe would like to send an 'aha moment' my way, I'm all ears and open to suggestions.
:-) M
One of my uni colleagues called today as he was feeling overwhelmed with the study load and was considering pulling out of the Grad Cert (he too is finishing the assignment from last year's course). We shared our woes and I managed to convince him to hang in there as in a week (next Thursday) half of it will be over and then we only have our Grad Cert subject to worry about. I tell you, its this that keeps me hanging on.
Would love to blog more about the stuff I'm grappling with but right now I get a few minutes each day to process it and I need more time than that. If the Universe would like to send an 'aha moment' my way, I'm all ears and open to suggestions.
:-) M
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
INJURED AND UNHAPPY - THE SAGA CONTINUES
So with my back and lower body all out of sorts, I decided to do my upper body weights today and give the core strengthening work a rest as it can hurt my lower back a bit.
Now I must say that after yesterday's chiro treatment I still felt like my neck wasnt quite right. When he did the adjustment on it, I felt he hurried it a bit and didnt get it quite right. Couple that with my lat pulldowns where I was determined to get the bar to my chest and .... yep, I've hurt my thorasic spine/neck.
Its been sore all day and I have limited range of movement in tilting my head back and to the sides. I'm still sore through my lower back but it has eased up a little. My adductors are sore from the treatment to release their tightness (but I can deal with that pain.) I FEEL LIKE CRAP.
Note to self: when the chiro says have a couple of rest days, he means rest days and not training the bits of the body next to the ones that are injured. Its all one unit you know; the hip bone's connected to the thigh bone, the thigh bone's connected to the ... you know how it goes.
So I'm now officially out of action until my body decides to work properly. Another chiro visit may be necessary but in the meantime I'm going to ease off and let it all settle down.
Misery guts signing off
:-( M
Now I must say that after yesterday's chiro treatment I still felt like my neck wasnt quite right. When he did the adjustment on it, I felt he hurried it a bit and didnt get it quite right. Couple that with my lat pulldowns where I was determined to get the bar to my chest and .... yep, I've hurt my thorasic spine/neck.
Its been sore all day and I have limited range of movement in tilting my head back and to the sides. I'm still sore through my lower back but it has eased up a little. My adductors are sore from the treatment to release their tightness (but I can deal with that pain.) I FEEL LIKE CRAP.
Note to self: when the chiro says have a couple of rest days, he means rest days and not training the bits of the body next to the ones that are injured. Its all one unit you know; the hip bone's connected to the thigh bone, the thigh bone's connected to the ... you know how it goes.
So I'm now officially out of action until my body decides to work properly. Another chiro visit may be necessary but in the meantime I'm going to ease off and let it all settle down.
Misery guts signing off
:-( M
Monday, February 6, 2012
INJURED AND UNHAPPY
Today I'm suffering the effects of a chain reaction. My legs, hips, lower back and just about everything around there is in a lot of pain. I'm one unhappy camper :-(
Here is my theory on what brought this on. I'll try to be brief.
When I got my program from Hilde at Active on Line the lower body training had some power moves like jump squats and jump lunges. Of course I did them the first week but straight away I noticed a new wave of funny aches and pains (not DOMS) in my lower body so decided to cut them out and just do the exercises with weights.Things were generally going ok so last week I put the jump squats back in :-)
In the last few weeks I've been feeling pretty good physically and mentally so decided to put some jogging back into my training. I started out gently doing 1 song walking, 1 jogging. Then after a couple of weeks took it up to 2 songs jogging, 1 song walking. No dramas. All good. Last week, when pressed for time I did my first couple of 25 minute jogs. Light and easy. No sprints. No long times or distances. Feeling good.
Then last Sunday at Bikram yoga the triangle pose #9 on my left side resulted in a loud crunching sound from my groin. 'Hmmm, I'm sure I shouldnt be hearing that', I thought but carried on giving the class my best as always. This Sunday I again found the triangle pose really hard on the left side but did it to the best of my ability. By the end of the class I could feel my lower back getting tighter and more and more sore.
To make matters worse, I had to spend the day at my computer working on my assignment and by the evening I was in a lot of pain as I described at the start of this post.
So put all that together: jump squats + jogging + intense triangle pose that my groin couldnt handle + a LOT of sitting at the computer and you have a recipe for disaster.
I've been to the chiro today and even he was amazed at how tight my adductors were. Needless to say his treatment was excruciatingly painful and will take some time to kick into effect. I've been ordered a couple of rest days as well.
But the most challenging bit is to NOT get depressed over this. I cant change the fact that I'm angered and frustrated when my body lets me down. I've not been to work, I've not studied nor have I done anything much constructive and I'm fighting off the waves of feeling sorry for myself, remembering all too well the last time I fell into a depression over this type of injury. But I must keep reminding myself that it is temporary. I can ride this out. It will all settle down and I'll be back feeling good again. My chiro is a miracle worker and he has worked his magic. Now I just need to rest and let my body heal while I keep my mind healthy and positive.
M
Here is my theory on what brought this on. I'll try to be brief.
When I got my program from Hilde at Active on Line the lower body training had some power moves like jump squats and jump lunges. Of course I did them the first week but straight away I noticed a new wave of funny aches and pains (not DOMS) in my lower body so decided to cut them out and just do the exercises with weights.Things were generally going ok so last week I put the jump squats back in :-)
In the last few weeks I've been feeling pretty good physically and mentally so decided to put some jogging back into my training. I started out gently doing 1 song walking, 1 jogging. Then after a couple of weeks took it up to 2 songs jogging, 1 song walking. No dramas. All good. Last week, when pressed for time I did my first couple of 25 minute jogs. Light and easy. No sprints. No long times or distances. Feeling good.
Then last Sunday at Bikram yoga the triangle pose #9 on my left side resulted in a loud crunching sound from my groin. 'Hmmm, I'm sure I shouldnt be hearing that', I thought but carried on giving the class my best as always. This Sunday I again found the triangle pose really hard on the left side but did it to the best of my ability. By the end of the class I could feel my lower back getting tighter and more and more sore.
To make matters worse, I had to spend the day at my computer working on my assignment and by the evening I was in a lot of pain as I described at the start of this post.
So put all that together: jump squats + jogging + intense triangle pose that my groin couldnt handle + a LOT of sitting at the computer and you have a recipe for disaster.
I've been to the chiro today and even he was amazed at how tight my adductors were. Needless to say his treatment was excruciatingly painful and will take some time to kick into effect. I've been ordered a couple of rest days as well.
But the most challenging bit is to NOT get depressed over this. I cant change the fact that I'm angered and frustrated when my body lets me down. I've not been to work, I've not studied nor have I done anything much constructive and I'm fighting off the waves of feeling sorry for myself, remembering all too well the last time I fell into a depression over this type of injury. But I must keep reminding myself that it is temporary. I can ride this out. It will all settle down and I'll be back feeling good again. My chiro is a miracle worker and he has worked his magic. Now I just need to rest and let my body heal while I keep my mind healthy and positive.
M
Thursday, February 2, 2012
FEB GOALS
Hi all,
well here we are in February already and my uni course kicked off last night. Fortunately our lecturer is passionate, charismatic and engaging so 12 weeks of 'Accounting for Managers' will not be anywhere near as bad as you'd expect. Phew!!
Having said that I made a bad error when reading the uni information last year. I was SURE that this module kicked off in mid Feb (its actually the other one that does this), giving me time to complete my project and presentation from last year's course (due mid Feb). So right now I've got a double load of uni work. My propject/presentation still needs a fair bit of work and I've just had the rudest shock about the amount of pre-reading and trial questions required each week for the new course. Of course I had read about it but its not until you come to fit it into your busy life that you go 'gasp, this is FULL ON'.
So its been a few nights of working late and it aint over yet - not to mention giving up a few more Sundays. I'll be breathing a little easier after Feb 16th though :-). Dont get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I'm just taking a bit of time to adjust to a new routine and new expectations - my own and that of uni as well.
So I had BIG plans for Feb with lots of motivation to ramp up my nutrition and fitness. I've been re-reading Tosca Reno's 'Eat Clean Diet' and was pretty keen to dive into this lifestyle (again). Training too was going to be tweaked and ramped up with some long term goals in mind. But this week reality has hit and I've had to lower my expectations and scale back my plans. here is a bit of an outline of what i'm shooting for now:
A 30 minute workout on 6 out of 7 days each week. This means breaking some of my weight training into 2 sessions. This plan allows me to sleep a little later (important as I'm going to bed later) but still get some exercise in.
Nutrition will continue as is which is about 80% clean but not strictly so. I will NEVER give up my skim cappuccinos nor a few glasses of wine on the weekends. My favourite cafe also stocks some very nice sugar free bars (Artisan cereal bars) which I enjoy with a coffee on weekends.
However, the MOST important thing is to remain binge-free and I tell you when I feel overwhelmed and under a LOT of pressure, thats when my thoughts turn to comfort food (NOT of the clean variety). Yesterday was a classic test but I remained calm and focussed and dismissed the thoughts.
Gotta run now. Have a great day and I'll be back when next I have something important to say and the time to say it.
:-) M
well here we are in February already and my uni course kicked off last night. Fortunately our lecturer is passionate, charismatic and engaging so 12 weeks of 'Accounting for Managers' will not be anywhere near as bad as you'd expect. Phew!!
Having said that I made a bad error when reading the uni information last year. I was SURE that this module kicked off in mid Feb (its actually the other one that does this), giving me time to complete my project and presentation from last year's course (due mid Feb). So right now I've got a double load of uni work. My propject/presentation still needs a fair bit of work and I've just had the rudest shock about the amount of pre-reading and trial questions required each week for the new course. Of course I had read about it but its not until you come to fit it into your busy life that you go 'gasp, this is FULL ON'.
So its been a few nights of working late and it aint over yet - not to mention giving up a few more Sundays. I'll be breathing a little easier after Feb 16th though :-). Dont get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I'm just taking a bit of time to adjust to a new routine and new expectations - my own and that of uni as well.
So I had BIG plans for Feb with lots of motivation to ramp up my nutrition and fitness. I've been re-reading Tosca Reno's 'Eat Clean Diet' and was pretty keen to dive into this lifestyle (again). Training too was going to be tweaked and ramped up with some long term goals in mind. But this week reality has hit and I've had to lower my expectations and scale back my plans. here is a bit of an outline of what i'm shooting for now:
A 30 minute workout on 6 out of 7 days each week. This means breaking some of my weight training into 2 sessions. This plan allows me to sleep a little later (important as I'm going to bed later) but still get some exercise in.
Nutrition will continue as is which is about 80% clean but not strictly so. I will NEVER give up my skim cappuccinos nor a few glasses of wine on the weekends. My favourite cafe also stocks some very nice sugar free bars (Artisan cereal bars) which I enjoy with a coffee on weekends.
However, the MOST important thing is to remain binge-free and I tell you when I feel overwhelmed and under a LOT of pressure, thats when my thoughts turn to comfort food (NOT of the clean variety). Yesterday was a classic test but I remained calm and focussed and dismissed the thoughts.
Gotta run now. Have a great day and I'll be back when next I have something important to say and the time to say it.
:-) M
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