Hiya all (assuming there is more than 1 reader of my blog tonight),
Well here I am at the end of week 3 of my Acting Director stint and I have decided to bite the bullet and give you the truth, the whole truth and .... well you know the rest.
OK, so this week SUCKED .... BIG TIME :-(
After 2 pretty good weeks and a nice cruising along feeling, I got to Monday morning, evaluated where I was at with the things I wanted to achieve, realised how little I had achieved and proceeded to melt down and have a massive internal panic attack - whilst remaining cool, calm and collected on the outside (because isnt that what all good managers / directors do??!!).
Now this led to one (or all) of the following feelings:
a) I cant be arsed
b) This isnt really happening
c) Its all too hard
d) All of the above
and I ended up having a very crappy eating week coupled with late nights and no training in the mornings. Slowly the wheels started to fall off and by yesterday all four (wheels) had gone astray. What a turnaround from last week's effort??!!
But in all seriousness I was not prepared for this week being a 'culmination' where I really wanted to nail some key things and it didnt look like I would. I was planning to use my last yoga pass on Tuesday but changed my mind late in the day so I could work in the evening. That threw our dinner plans totally our of order and it was all downhill from there. Things were pretty tense in our household thats for sure.
I now realise that I cant possibly give my all to a demanding job and expect to run my household efficiently and give my personal wellbeing the priority and attention it deserves. I just cant spread myself that thin and far. Given the chance to do this again, I would plan it very differently.
But whats been is gone and I'm not beating myself up, wallowing in self pity or planning some wierd arsed rescue mission. I just know that I need to put this behind me and get back to doing what I know is right and what works for me.
Already today has been good and I know tomorrow will be even better. I keep telling myself that I am still on the journey. There are good times and there are still some bad times. I'm not where I want to be just yet but I'm damn closer than I was 6 months ago and as long as I keep taking one step forward and then another and another, I'll get to the place where I want to be.
So to finish off I thought I'd post this from Shar's blog (sorry too late and too tired to link to her - go check out Mum on a Mission). Here's a little bit about me:
Favourite workout - Bikram yoga (but I need to commit to another 10 sessions pass)
Favourite food - oh where do I start? Mum's roast chicken; Mum's vanilla slice; a GOOD spagetti marinara ... there are too many to list
Favourite clothing - long brown high heeled boots, black tights, short black knit skirt, body fitting black jumper with gold /; brown toned jewellery. I LOVE dressing up and feel so sexy in this outfit.
Favourite day - Saturday - the day I take some "me-time" as well as doing the usual mum-duties.
Favourite month - March. Although summer is my favourite season, there is something really magical about the beauty of autumn. Plus its our anniversary month as well :-)
Favourite place - Our outdoor area - with a glass of wine
Favourite colour - Red / purple (depending on my mood)
So what are your favourites? Please share.
XX M
Friday, October 21, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
SUNDAY SHENANIGANS
What do you do while you wait for the movie to start? ..... Be silly of course.
And some more.
And its not just 3D but Aroma Scope as well. BTW ... the cards didnt work. I scratched like mad, nothing happened and I certainly didnt smell what I was meant to smell.
So this is what I get up to on a Sunday afternoon ... pulling stupid faces and taking pictures of myself and my boy. LOL I'm making the most of this as in a few years time, he wont want to be seen in public with me ... such is life.
Its been an awesome weekend. On Saturday morning it was back to skating classes and I was, yet again, bursting wioth pride watching my boy learn to skate backwards now and get better at his cross-overs. He has come such a long way from the awkward, timid boy who took his first lesson 11 or 12 weeks ago. And to really ice my cake, he is now considering going on to figure skating instead of ice hockey which he realises is a contact sport of which he's not too fond, as a rule. I cant tell you how much I adore figure skating. I could watch it for hours and hours and often lose myself watching the figure skaters practice in the public sessions.
After skating lesson and a practice skate, I met a dear friend for lunch and we wiled away the afternoon drinking champagne, then going for a coffee before coming back to my place for a little while. I had such a great time and it all ended so late that dinner never got cooked and we ended up with a healthy lean seafood pizza instead. Luckily Peter got his act together and made dinner for our boy while my friend and I kept chatting.
I couldnt make it to hot yoga today because of Peter's schedule but I got out for a 40 minute walk instead and was good with that. Then it was off to the movies, out for ice cream (for my boy) / coffee and cake (for me) and then home for a bit of play. And I sit here tonight wondering how it all could have gone so fast and before I know it the working week will start again.
This will be my last week (+1 day) acting so I want to tick a couple of biggies off my list and thereby charge that ship forward with strength and confidence. Bring it on, I say.
:-) M
Friday, October 14, 2011
I'M BAAAAACK
Woohoo what a relief to see the end of this week. Here's the low down on it.
I managed to stay off FB and Blogger for the 5 days - apart from PMing my boss about a work issue that warranted her attention. It was 2 minutes on FB and then off again.
My exam is done and dusted and I think I managed to write enough crap to get me a pass mark - which is all I'm aiming for. Now before you all go thinking 'well thats not very aspirational" let me explain my week.
We got our exam case study last Friday. I have promised myself that weekends are NOT work time so I didnt look at the case study until Monday. This has been week 2 of my Acting Director stint. Work is mega busy. Leaving at or by 5pm is a luxury and even then there are still a million things to do. On Monday I finished around 6pm but we were kid free and had a cheap and cheerful meal out locally. Tuesday was little better. Wednesday was my treat day when Peter had the day off and my boys took me out to lunch in between all the fun they were having. To compensate, I went in early and left around 5.15.
My study time has been limited to evenings after dinner AND I've taken the time to listen to my boy read on the nights he's been home. At best I've managed 2 hours study a night before I was so physically and menatlly exhausted that sleep was the only option. On the bright side, getting to bed at a reasonable hour meant that I could set my alarm to do some training - or movement - in the mornings. I actually achieved: legs and abs / core training on Monday; back / chest and tris and Tuesday; on Wednesday I walked to and from work - about 45 minutes each way; on Thursday I did shoulders and bis and this morning I managed a 55 minute walk. All of this helped to keep me in a good place both physically and mentally to better cope with the work and study pressures.
Some of my colleagues from the management training course had taken leave this week to prepare for their exams - I should be so lucky!! THEY deserve credits and distinctions, and I'll settle for a pass knowing that I still have my sanity intact and I didnt work myself into the ground for those marks. Its all about balance, priorities and apportioning time accordingly. In fact one of my colleagues said to me today that she had decided to take a leaf from MY book and make some "me time" a priority. She had realised that exercise was not something you should do IF you had time (which would be never) but to make time for it and hence score your "me time".
Finally on the food front its been interesting to observe that when there is SO much happening and the pressure is on on so many fronts, I never had time to think about binging. I made sure I had food at work so that I wouldnt get to feeling starving hungry but I ate mindfully and made pretty good, healthy choices without being obsessive about it. I drank wine every day but often only 1 or 1 1/2 glasses (except tonight, of course). I didnt have many sweets. A quick check in with MM on Wednesday was all good - in fact a little better than I thought it would be. Honestly, what more could you ask for??!!
I know in the past that times like this have sent me straight to Bingesville. I would eat, eat and eat some more to dull the pain of pressure and stress and seek out those 5 or so minutes of feeling good while your mouth is full of sweets. But I have wised up to the fact that this is not the answer nor the way to go. So I made a little pact with myself to honour myself and accept that when I was trying to achieve so much I probably wouldnt achieve greatness and to be ok with that.
And so here I am, ok with myself, with what I've achived and how I've gone about it. Now there is an awesome weekend ahead to enjoy and I'm heading off to bed so that tomorrow and the fun comes around quickly.
Cheers all
M
I managed to stay off FB and Blogger for the 5 days - apart from PMing my boss about a work issue that warranted her attention. It was 2 minutes on FB and then off again.
My exam is done and dusted and I think I managed to write enough crap to get me a pass mark - which is all I'm aiming for. Now before you all go thinking 'well thats not very aspirational" let me explain my week.
We got our exam case study last Friday. I have promised myself that weekends are NOT work time so I didnt look at the case study until Monday. This has been week 2 of my Acting Director stint. Work is mega busy. Leaving at or by 5pm is a luxury and even then there are still a million things to do. On Monday I finished around 6pm but we were kid free and had a cheap and cheerful meal out locally. Tuesday was little better. Wednesday was my treat day when Peter had the day off and my boys took me out to lunch in between all the fun they were having. To compensate, I went in early and left around 5.15.
My study time has been limited to evenings after dinner AND I've taken the time to listen to my boy read on the nights he's been home. At best I've managed 2 hours study a night before I was so physically and menatlly exhausted that sleep was the only option. On the bright side, getting to bed at a reasonable hour meant that I could set my alarm to do some training - or movement - in the mornings. I actually achieved: legs and abs / core training on Monday; back / chest and tris and Tuesday; on Wednesday I walked to and from work - about 45 minutes each way; on Thursday I did shoulders and bis and this morning I managed a 55 minute walk. All of this helped to keep me in a good place both physically and mentally to better cope with the work and study pressures.
Some of my colleagues from the management training course had taken leave this week to prepare for their exams - I should be so lucky!! THEY deserve credits and distinctions, and I'll settle for a pass knowing that I still have my sanity intact and I didnt work myself into the ground for those marks. Its all about balance, priorities and apportioning time accordingly. In fact one of my colleagues said to me today that she had decided to take a leaf from MY book and make some "me time" a priority. She had realised that exercise was not something you should do IF you had time (which would be never) but to make time for it and hence score your "me time".
Finally on the food front its been interesting to observe that when there is SO much happening and the pressure is on on so many fronts, I never had time to think about binging. I made sure I had food at work so that I wouldnt get to feeling starving hungry but I ate mindfully and made pretty good, healthy choices without being obsessive about it. I drank wine every day but often only 1 or 1 1/2 glasses (except tonight, of course). I didnt have many sweets. A quick check in with MM on Wednesday was all good - in fact a little better than I thought it would be. Honestly, what more could you ask for??!!
I know in the past that times like this have sent me straight to Bingesville. I would eat, eat and eat some more to dull the pain of pressure and stress and seek out those 5 or so minutes of feeling good while your mouth is full of sweets. But I have wised up to the fact that this is not the answer nor the way to go. So I made a little pact with myself to honour myself and accept that when I was trying to achieve so much I probably wouldnt achieve greatness and to be ok with that.
And so here I am, ok with myself, with what I've achived and how I've gone about it. Now there is an awesome weekend ahead to enjoy and I'm heading off to bed so that tomorrow and the fun comes around quickly.
Cheers all
M
Sunday, October 9, 2011
SHORT BREAK FROM BLOGGING
This will be my last post until Friday night (or later). I vow to stay off both Blogger and Facebook until my exam is finished (11am Friday). If you find me here or commenting on another blog please feel free to give me a right royal telling off. My schedule with work and exam prep means these two favourites have to be shelved for a few days.
The weekend has been awesome. I had a lovely lunch out with my BF yesterday, something we dont do very often at all. Peter and I stayed home last night and I made my healthy(ish) version of chicken parmis. We had them with locally grown asparagus with a little butter and slivered almonds. The parmis had a generous serving of veges in the tomato sauce topping and of course I go light on the cheese. Leaving room to enjoy a wine or two without inhaling mega calories (not that we count them anyway).
Today I went to Bikram (hot) yoga after being away for a couple of weeks. I never cease to be amazed at how tiring a workout it is. I literally felt like I had the life sucked out of me AND I drove there and back unlike other Sundays where I've had to walk 30 mins+ each way. Now THAT is tiring. I literally drag myself home.
After yoga, brunch and a shower it was off to ice skating with my boy. My poor legs found it really hard to switch from "OMG we are SO tired" mode to "yeah we can ice skate" mode. It took quite a while before they were working properly and I could skate as opposed to just gliding along. I think the highlight was going out for a coffee and a biscuit after :-)
So on that note I'll sum up with my rough plan for the week:
Monday: leg training
Tuesday: 50 min walk (maybe 55 - 60 if I can get up straight away)
Wednesday: upper body training - no evening Bikram as I'll be working / studying
Thursday: upper body training - those bits I dont do on Wednesday
Friday: walk - aiming for at least 30 minutes in anticipation of a late night studying on Thursday.
If I achieve 80% of that I'll be really happy. Oh and of course there's the food side of things but that seems to be going ok so I'll live by the motto: IF IT AINT BROKE, DONT FIX IT.
Cheers all til Friday
M
The weekend has been awesome. I had a lovely lunch out with my BF yesterday, something we dont do very often at all. Peter and I stayed home last night and I made my healthy(ish) version of chicken parmis. We had them with locally grown asparagus with a little butter and slivered almonds. The parmis had a generous serving of veges in the tomato sauce topping and of course I go light on the cheese. Leaving room to enjoy a wine or two without inhaling mega calories (not that we count them anyway).
Today I went to Bikram (hot) yoga after being away for a couple of weeks. I never cease to be amazed at how tiring a workout it is. I literally felt like I had the life sucked out of me AND I drove there and back unlike other Sundays where I've had to walk 30 mins+ each way. Now THAT is tiring. I literally drag myself home.
After yoga, brunch and a shower it was off to ice skating with my boy. My poor legs found it really hard to switch from "OMG we are SO tired" mode to "yeah we can ice skate" mode. It took quite a while before they were working properly and I could skate as opposed to just gliding along. I think the highlight was going out for a coffee and a biscuit after :-)
So on that note I'll sum up with my rough plan for the week:
Monday: leg training
Tuesday: 50 min walk (maybe 55 - 60 if I can get up straight away)
Wednesday: upper body training - no evening Bikram as I'll be working / studying
Thursday: upper body training - those bits I dont do on Wednesday
Friday: walk - aiming for at least 30 minutes in anticipation of a late night studying on Thursday.
If I achieve 80% of that I'll be really happy. Oh and of course there's the food side of things but that seems to be going ok so I'll live by the motto: IF IT AINT BROKE, DONT FIX IT.
Cheers all til Friday
M
Friday, October 7, 2011
KEEPING THE BALANCE FRONT AND CENTRE
Today I completed the last of 6 modules that were my management training course. We have an exam next Friday and a work based project due early next year to complete the course. All I can say is "phew". I've loved the intellectual stimulation that an adult learning environment provides. The topics have been interesting and well presented ... even if I did come out of some with my brain feeling like it had been fried. A group of my course colleagues went out for a drink after we finished today and it was a great mini wind down.
I wont go on about work because little will change over the next few weeks but I will say that at the end of week one, the ship is still sailing in the right direction. I'm happy with that ... albeit keeping it going is exhausting LOL.
Family time has been ok under the circumstances. Today my boy spent the day at a friend's place which was a win win for us and the other family as both boys are only children so having a friend to play with is a real bonus. For us, it gave grandma and grandpa a day off.
On the health and fitness front I'm pleased that Tuesday's gastro lurgy did not hang around and I bounced back fairly quickly on Wednesday. I've maintained a good combination of weights and walking but sadly the Bikram yoga has been off my schedule. In fact, I did a killer back and chest session on Monday which left me with some serious DOMS on Tuesday. So not only was I battling the wierd tummy and associated aches and pains from feeling sick but every upper body movement was mega painful too. I remember undressing to get into bed (at 4.30pm) and not being able to get my bra off because my arms were too sore to reach behind LOL.
So thats been my week and I'm in a good place physically and emotionally and therefore I feel I can handle just about anything. Now the challenge is to keep this balance and positive outlook front and centre.
Cheers all
M
I wont go on about work because little will change over the next few weeks but I will say that at the end of week one, the ship is still sailing in the right direction. I'm happy with that ... albeit keeping it going is exhausting LOL.
Family time has been ok under the circumstances. Today my boy spent the day at a friend's place which was a win win for us and the other family as both boys are only children so having a friend to play with is a real bonus. For us, it gave grandma and grandpa a day off.
On the health and fitness front I'm pleased that Tuesday's gastro lurgy did not hang around and I bounced back fairly quickly on Wednesday. I've maintained a good combination of weights and walking but sadly the Bikram yoga has been off my schedule. In fact, I did a killer back and chest session on Monday which left me with some serious DOMS on Tuesday. So not only was I battling the wierd tummy and associated aches and pains from feeling sick but every upper body movement was mega painful too. I remember undressing to get into bed (at 4.30pm) and not being able to get my bra off because my arms were too sore to reach behind LOL.
So thats been my week and I'm in a good place physically and emotionally and therefore I feel I can handle just about anything. Now the challenge is to keep this balance and positive outlook front and centre.
Cheers all
M
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
I BEEN SICK
We had a fabulous weekend celebrating our niece's 1st birthday. The in-laws arrived home from their OS holiday and came straight to Adelaide for the event. Lots of time spent together which is always very enjoyable.
What wasnt so enjoyable though was the lurgy that had made its way through our family: SIL was sick on Thursday; BIL was sick on Friday and into the weekend as well; MIL got it Monday and sadly threw up the beautiful lunch I made :-( and then I got it yesterday. Nausea, no apetite whatsoever, shivering cold, achey and just blaaah all day. When I say "no apetite" it was more a case of "I dont dare eat or I'm sure I'll throw it up." I left work at 4pm (happy I lasted that long) and came home straight to bed, cranked my electric blanket up to 3 and shivered through the next 4 hours.
Luckliy my iron constitution kicked in and I'm ok today. Work is ridiculously busy and there have been moments when I've really felt the strain but then Peter told me how much extra I got in my pay and it eased the pain somewhat :-) Despite the illness I'm maintaining balance, nurturing my health and wellbeing and pouring energy into my job. My boy hasnt been totally neglected either and I even managed to bake a cake and make cheese scones for Peter to take to work for morning tea.
Director by day. Domestic goddess by night. LOL
M
What wasnt so enjoyable though was the lurgy that had made its way through our family: SIL was sick on Thursday; BIL was sick on Friday and into the weekend as well; MIL got it Monday and sadly threw up the beautiful lunch I made :-( and then I got it yesterday. Nausea, no apetite whatsoever, shivering cold, achey and just blaaah all day. When I say "no apetite" it was more a case of "I dont dare eat or I'm sure I'll throw it up." I left work at 4pm (happy I lasted that long) and came home straight to bed, cranked my electric blanket up to 3 and shivered through the next 4 hours.
Luckliy my iron constitution kicked in and I'm ok today. Work is ridiculously busy and there have been moments when I've really felt the strain but then Peter told me how much extra I got in my pay and it eased the pain somewhat :-) Despite the illness I'm maintaining balance, nurturing my health and wellbeing and pouring energy into my job. My boy hasnt been totally neglected either and I even managed to bake a cake and make cheese scones for Peter to take to work for morning tea.
Director by day. Domestic goddess by night. LOL
M
Saturday, October 1, 2011
SEPTEMBER ROUNDUP OCTOBER GOALS
Well I guess it's time to reflect on September and look forward to October.
Hmmmm September didn't go quite as planned. It got off to a great start but after peter's birthday celebrations in the middle, the wheels fell off for me and I had a few episodes of binge eating again. I know the cause was a combination of things like boredom with my meals, stressing about work, dealing with my lack of self confidence etc. Yeah blah, blah, blah you might say and I might even agree with you LOL but sometimes the logic and the toughness goes out the window and old habits take hold again. I did get some comfort from a post I saw on FB depicting the road to success. In one box it was believed to be a straight line rising steadily. In the other box labelled "actual" it was a very messy, squiggly line that eventually rose to the top but obviously after many twists, turns and movements back down as well. It made me laugh as I know in my case it is certainly true of me.
All that aside the reality was that it was a few days and whilst my weight might be up a little, I know it'll settle back down nicely on it's own when situation normal returns. And it's returning as of yesterday so I'm good with that.
My October goals are simple: do a good job of my time as acting director, nurture my physical health and wellbeing by eating well and staying active, that in turn will go a long way to keeping me balanced and emotionally well and finally (so not in order of importance)to devote time to my family. I can't take time off in these school holidays but I can make sure my boy enjoys a wide range if fun activities and gets time with me on the weekends.
So there you have it. Simple goals. Simple actions. Not looking for any outstanding results in terms of fitness etc but hoping the outstandingness is channelled into work instead.
M
Hmmmm September didn't go quite as planned. It got off to a great start but after peter's birthday celebrations in the middle, the wheels fell off for me and I had a few episodes of binge eating again. I know the cause was a combination of things like boredom with my meals, stressing about work, dealing with my lack of self confidence etc. Yeah blah, blah, blah you might say and I might even agree with you LOL but sometimes the logic and the toughness goes out the window and old habits take hold again. I did get some comfort from a post I saw on FB depicting the road to success. In one box it was believed to be a straight line rising steadily. In the other box labelled "actual" it was a very messy, squiggly line that eventually rose to the top but obviously after many twists, turns and movements back down as well. It made me laugh as I know in my case it is certainly true of me.
All that aside the reality was that it was a few days and whilst my weight might be up a little, I know it'll settle back down nicely on it's own when situation normal returns. And it's returning as of yesterday so I'm good with that.
My October goals are simple: do a good job of my time as acting director, nurture my physical health and wellbeing by eating well and staying active, that in turn will go a long way to keeping me balanced and emotionally well and finally (so not in order of importance)to devote time to my family. I can't take time off in these school holidays but I can make sure my boy enjoys a wide range if fun activities and gets time with me on the weekends.
So there you have it. Simple goals. Simple actions. Not looking for any outstanding results in terms of fitness etc but hoping the outstandingness is channelled into work instead.
M
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