Today my over-analytical mind is coming to grips with the mechanics of change. Change as in self development, self improvement and the like. Most bloggers would relate to this as many blogs are about striving to be fitter, leaner, healthier, better at a particular sport or physical pursuit or just a better, more authentic version of ourselves full stop. Many of us are on a journey of change whether we see things that way or not. In fact, life rarely stands still and we are forever changing and evolving.
If you're a regular reader of my blog you'll know that my personal journey is one of letting go of my emotional eating, my ultimate goal being to be free of it for my 50th birthday in July this year. I might write about wanting to be leaner, fitter, stronger or whatever other physical consideration I choose but underpinning all of that is the burning desire to be Binge-Free. Because you see when I achieve that, the rest will take care of itself. I dont need a trainer to tell me that, nor a life coach, nor some riveting FaceBook article backed up by scientific research (beacuse they all are!!). Its just something I know with absolute certainty.
But over the last few months I've been putting the cart before the horse or the chicken before the egg and taking a totally arse up approach which isn't taking me where I want to be. My focus has been all about weight loss and the number on the scale getting smaller. I have placed so much importance on it, obsessed over it and let it take me on an emotional rollercoaster ride. Don't get me wrong, the highs were great (woohoo, weight loss, I love you!!) but as the focus on the numbers got worse I was totally forgetting the real purpose of what I was trying to achieve. And in doing so I was just making it harder and harder to let go of my emotional eating.
I wish I could say that I'm one of those people who makes a decision to change, flicks the switch and just does it but for me that couldn't be further from the truth. For me change is a gradual process of awakening, analysing, understanding and easing into new ways. I usually stumble often, have to pick myself up, dust myself off and get back on the horse .... many times.
This time I have to sort out my horse and cart.
Horse: eat well; exercise effectively and regularly; nurture my body, mind and spirit; be grateful
Cart: Feel good; look good; be calm; be strong.
And the rest will take care of itself.
This morning I took some time to reflect over the last few days (another rough patch) and I realised that things had gotten all arse up and the answer was to shift the focus away from the numbers and back to overall health and wellbeing and let the rest take care of itself. I feel better already :-)
How about you? Are you driven by numbers and tangible outcomes or is that sense of total wellbeing enough motivation for you?
M
One of the things that drives success for me is knowing WHY I want [insert goal here]. Drilling right down into all the deep reasons why, dragging them out into the light of day and writing them down - and then keeping them right in front of me - is a huge help.
ReplyDeleteIn the daily grind of preparing meals, exercising, and trying to fit in work , household and family commitments, we can lose sight of the bigger picture and start to just focus on the boring, tedious and sometimes downright unpleasant parts of the job at hand. Reminding yourself of the "why" can help you to refocus.
I also find accountability makes a massive difference. If nobody's checking on me, I could put off tasks I don't want to do for months (which would usually lands me in the poo), or eat cake and chocolate for every meal...not that I'd ever do that. ;)
I find I need multiple tools to keep me on track while I'm retraining my mind, erasing the old bad habits and beliefs and setting up some new ones. Just jumping in willy-nilly without a strong support program never works for me for long.
Magda, as you can imagine I can totally relate to your post, and it is very well written.
ReplyDeleteAs for me, -I always seem to do better when setting out to achieve tangible outcomes. I remember when I had goal weights, goal run times, strength challenges etc....I focussed and went out with purpose to achieve them, and often did or got close and perhaps kinda sustained it for a while. But desirable lifestyle habits and all round moderation....have been a struggle, such as if eating and training were going great, I secretly also drank too much wine and or coke zero and didn't get enough sleep. But if 'total wellbeing' is my motivation, I seem to flounder personally as I don't feel there is enough direction. Right now something very unexpected is taking over most of my thoughts ...guy issues and how to proceed.......so much to consider lol! It's interesting....differ
Think I published accidentally, was going to say, different approaches seem to work for different people!
ReplyDeleteKek, considering what you've achieved lately, I'm taking this as good advice.
ReplyDeletePip, the key difference I see is choosing goals that mean something to you personally. I'm at a point where the big-picture longer term stuff is becoming more important than short-term numbers driven outcomes, not to mention how frustrated I get by trying to achieve a number on the frickin scales (mark my words, it NEVER ends well). Like you said, different strokes for different folks. That's not to say that I might announce a BEHAG after my 50th birthday. Watch this space :-)