Q IS FOR ....

.... quality.

Do you choose quality when you can? Do you make quality a priority? Is quality more important than quantity?

The concept of quality in all facets of life has got me thinking about my choices and how I've put them into practice, or in some cases NOT put them into place.

A year or so ago I made the decision to stock my wardrobe differently. In the past I had excelled in bargain shopping - hunting out cheaper clothes stores and then hunting further for sale items. I'd often look at the pieces I bought and regret their cheap and short-life look. I also didnt like how they looked on me and how they made me look. I decided to change that and buy less but of better quality. I still cant resist a sale and sometimes thats the only time I'll shop but I choose carefully now favouring more classic, well cut styles that wont date within 6 months, knowing that a longer life item is a true bargain.

Does anybody else love grocery shopping? I love having the time to check out produce, read labels, compare prices and stock up on the good stuff. Every now and then Peter will remind me of the 'B' word so I reign it in a little but then if I havent bought good quality cuts of meat and seafood he complains, so the 'B' word is forgotten and its all about quality again. The one area I havent delved into yet is the 'O' word. Would love to. Know its better for us and the environment but the cost is holding me back - we eat a LOT of fruit and veg so the jump in cost would be considerable.

I'm trying to reprogram my thinking about food and eating shifting to the less is more and quality over quantity schools of thought. If we (I especially) can get past the 'but my plate isnt full' fear and realise that a little of something delicious goes further than a dinner plate full of chicken breast and brocolli then life should be a happier journey - happier for my tatse buds anyway and probably for my waist line in the long run. How could that be? you ask. Becasue if you always eat big serves and lots of food then thats likely to include (fattier) treats and sweets. My theory then is that the converse is true.

Unfortunately I didnt have a quality workout today :-( I had an attack of the lazies and tried to go back to sleep when my alarm went off at 5. I did get up but, running a bit later than usual decided to do a walk/jog combo. Felt ok (albeit heavy) on the jog intervals and kept it to just over half an hour but noticed later that my right leg is really sore again with most of the pain focussed to just below the knee. Couple this with a dicky right achilles and an aching right ITB and from the waist down on my right side there's a definite lack of quality operations.

Ah, I guess you cant win em all.

:-) M

WEEKENDITIS

There is no denying that the journey from being podgy and feeling unfit to being in a truly balanced and happy place is a rocky and winding road. Since my turnaround from earlier this month when it was time to say "enough is enough, lets get moving again and lets eat mindfully with a focus on self-care", its been a bit of a topsy turvy ride. Lets just say that I havent nailed it in one but that I keep plugging away at it.

My downfall of late has been weekenditis. Eating when I'm not hungry, having a piece of cake with coffee when the coffee alone would be enough and then eating because "its time". Any gains achieved throughout the week are quickly undone and I start Monday feeling podgy and wondering what clothes are going to fit. To take this a step further, our cruise is about 12-13 weeks away and I dont want to be feeling or looking like this.

I've considered many different tools to help me achieve my goal - which incidentally is not  about dieting and weight loss - but more about finding my answer to happy eating and weight management. I went down a path just last week only to reach a dead end and decide the Universe was telling me that was not the answer. Then last night I was looking for something to read before going to sleep and I picked up a book I had read just last year. Jackpot!! It was just what I needed to be reminded of and it spoke to me like nothing else recently. I read a chapter last night and then managed another 3 or so at lunch time today recalling how I had related so well to its message before.

I'll be signing off shortly to devour a few more chapters and then starting tomorrow with a positive outlook about food and other pleasures.

Bon soir

:-) M

STUDY UPDATE

One of the things I wanted to blog about recently was my progress in my accounting module. After a very rocky first 6 weeks when there was many a time when I wanted to just chuck it all in, things calmed down a bit and I found a sense of normality about it all. Mind you, I still don’t like giving up my Sundays and some of my Saturdays to study but at least I’m not studying up late as well and skipping my daily exercise.

A couple of weeks ago, we had our mid trimester test. I did the prac test on the weekend before and got a pretty ordinary 57% for it. I wasn’t happy with that so when the lecturer offered a voluntary workshop to help people with the test format and questions, I jumped at the chance to attend. Well if that wasn’t the best investment of an hour of my time, then I don’t know what was. We were tutored specifically on both short answer questions (worth 15 out of the total 40 marks) and any other questions we had were also answered. I went into the test the next day feeling quietly confident that I’d beat my 57%.

When I read the test it was like a lottery win. Being open book I had my notes from the workshop and lo and behold there were the questions we had been tutored on just with different case scenarios. I wrote furiously and was happy with my answers. I then tackled the multiple choice questions and only one of them had me totally beat (damn those cash flow statements, they are SO bloody complicated to compile). I happily conceded that mark grrrrrr.

The results came out last week and I was blown away. I scored 36 out of 40 (90%) and came 2^nd in the class – beaten by one person who scored 37.  It was such a good feeling to get this mark and it lifted my spirits towards the hard work I’ve been putting in. Mind you, accounting is such a rollercoaster of “that’s so simple and obvious, how can you NOT get it” to “aaaargh, information overload and nothing is computing.”  I guess if it was all the former then it’d be a case of ‘what are you doing in this course if you know it all already?’

THE LIEBSTER BLOG AWARD CONTINUES

Hilary has nominated me for a Liebster Blog Award (check the link to her blog!!) to which I say a big heartfelt THANK YOU. In the spirit of keeping the Liebster going my 5 nominations are:

Sandra is a 40 something self-employed professional/wife/mother/fitness enthusiast living her 'Journey to Fabulous'. I've never met her but we 'click' on so many levels and we just 'get each other'. I love her blog - an honest account of her ups and downs, triumphs and challenges and an insight into her family life. I look forward to her coming to Adelaide in a couple of months when we'll tee up a meeting and a nice long coffee chat.
Michelle has a REAL passion for fitness and is a devotee of Michelle Bridges' 12WBT challenge. This woman likes to work HARD and just looking at her, it shows!! However her blog is honest enough to share the downs as well as the ups which is the reality I like to read. Oh and lets not forget that she too is a wife/mother/working woman that juggles her training with her family commitments. Hats off to her!!
Pip is another like minded soul although our circumstances are different as she's single and carefree. However our birthdays are 2 days apart and we are both true Cancerians (as is Sandra!!). Whats stands out about Pip is her determination to keep working on her fitness. She's had her setbacks (human like the rest of us) but she picks herself up and tries again, applying some simple common sense to her approach and subsequently scoring some runs.
Charlotte has been blogging for a long time and I've followed her from her figure athlete days to now where she's more focussed on living a healthy and balanced life. Also, her's is the blog to visit for the most beautiful food pictures and a summary of what she eats (trivia that I love to indulge in).
Kristin writes about her fitness life, her study, her dreams, her work with IBO and lots of other interesting tidbits. She is one busy girl who manages to achieve so much through sheer hard work. Although absent from blogging at times when she's mega busy, its always interesting to read what she's been up to when she comes back.

So to all my nominees, please keep the award going (5 blogs with less than 200 followers; link to them and leave a message that you've nominated them.)
I have 2 other favourite blogs (Kek and Liz)  but I think their fan base of followers puts them in another league. Check them out as they are both excellent blogs.

And after all that exploration and linking, I'm worn out and will write more soon.

Cheers all

M

THE BIG FERRIS WHEEL OF LIFE

In the big ferris wheel of life, its certainly nice to be on the rise rather than the fall. Since making my decision on Sunday to blow off the next diet and replace it with mindful eating and a focus on taking the best care of myself, I've felt like a weight's been lifted just from that (sorry no pun intended).

Already I'm reaping some benefit through my clothes fitting better. At lunch on Saturday two weekends ago I wore my pink Zara skirt (refer to Christmas Eve pics posted in late December or early January). Only on that Saturday my skirt was tight and I looked and felt awful. My friend arrived in a tight fitting black dress that looked fantastic, making me feel even worse. I really struggled with my self esteem and body image that day. I just cant pretend that I feel good with extra weight. I have that pink skirt on today and whilst its still got a way to go before its falling off me (LOL), it is no longer embarrassingly tight :-) :-)

We're having a little spate of hot weather which will sadly end tomorrow. I took advantge of it this morning, doing an unscheduled walk/jog in the relative warmth. It was a nice start to the day and tomorrow I'll be dragging out the warmer autumn clothes - which I'm kinda looking forward to as well. I've said it before, but I DO love autumn and winter fashions especially. I've never come out and said this, but winter is the only time I'll wear a short(ish) skirt. I might go just above the knee in summer but in winter I'll be daring and go a smidge higher. Why? Because I can cover my legs in tights and not be self conscious about them. Wierd, isnt it??

M

THE THINGS WE LEARN

There is no doubt that life is one big lesson or perhaps several lessons delivered at strategic times. Whether we actively embark on a journey of self improvement or drift towards a better life, the road we travel will rarely be a straight line paved with polished marble. Its more likley to be winding, bumpy and dirty just to challenge whether we have the fortitude to keep going.

If you've been following my blog for some time, you'll remember the shift in my thinking and actions that brought about great positive changes for me in June last year. Without a doubt, entering that headspace and looking at eating and exercising from a toatlly different perspective, was one of the most balanced and calm periods of my life in recent times. It didnt take long for me to feel great, look better and function optimally.

But life is never simple and rosy all the time and we dont always deal with challenges in the best way - as I've found many a time since then. I've found myself going WAY off track - falling back into the diet mentality, becoming a slave to the Metal Monster again and battling the old all/nothing thinking. Its dawned on me yet again that its gotten me nowhere.

Yesterday I indulged in an hour long walk as it was such a beautiful morning. Only the day before I was planning my next diet to shift the weight I gained recently. The thought of it was doing my head in and leaving me in a crappy place. So I thought back to the last time I was really happy with my eating and exercise and I came back to last year. The answer became obvious to me - I had it last year but I stopped believing it was the right way.

I believe firmly in different strokes for different folks. Some people are driven by goals but I achieve more if I subtly shift my thinking and actions towards the direction I want to go in. Some people love the structure and accountability of programs and 12 week challenges. I achieve far more when I take the pressure off myself and quietly commit to taking better care of myself. Some people work well with the Metal Monster and have a balanced view of its role in their weight management. I'm happier when it sits under my bathroom cabinet and I feel good because I've taken good care of myself, not beacuse the number is what I want to see.

I finished my walk yesterday in a totally different headspace, feeling positive about the future and not dreading the diet that would start today. I studied all day without getting shitty about it and I went to bed looking forward to the new week.

I have faith and I have a quiet confidence and belief in myself that this is right for me. And for all that I feel SO much better.

M

ITS TIME .....

.... to write about my recent experience with the D word ... depression.

I've decided to write this as much for myself as a record of what I learnt and what I need to be mindful of in future as a desire to share my life honestly and openly.

January got off to a cracking start and for a day I revelled in the delight of wearing my skinny jeans. They were tight but hey ... they were on .... WINNER.

Then it all went downhill. Hours of study on top of full-time work meant lots of extra sitting. Add to the equation a cumulation of higher intensity lower body work (jogging again + plyometric exercises) and my lower back/hip/glute/ITB injury flared up BIG TIME. For weeks the pain was relentless and no amount of chiro treatment, rest or self massage would relieve it. I rememebr vividly saying to my chiro "John, lets just fix this now." to which he replied "mate if I knew how, I'd have done it by now." Then he went on to explain that all the extra sitting wasnt helping my situation and that the more I could move the better things would be.

By this time I had virtually stopped all exercise as I was studying late at night and didnt have any motivation or inclination to get up at 5am to exercise. I was exhausted to the bone. I'd arrive at work, slump at my desk and pray that the day would be "light on." I remember a day that my boss came in to tell me of an urgent job that had to be done by lunchtime. It required going back over financial information, understanding its implications and restructuring it in a different format. Lots of precise analytical thinking and working to a deadline. When my boss gave me the rundown of this job I almost said to her "I cant do it. Its unfair to expect this at such short notice and in such a short time." But I bit my tongue, fought back my tears and did it.

By now all the excitement about studying towards my grad cert - and potentially my MBA - had worn off and I was looking into the possibility of withdrawing from the course. If only I hadnt paid my fees I reckon I'd  have pulled the plug in one of my totally down and deperate moments. I was hating what the study was doing to me and all of the negative effects it was having on my life. But deep down I didnt want to be a quitter. I didnt want to face my boss and the boss of our organisation to say "I quit." I knew that I had to keep going.

So my life had become a battle of the pain from my injury and the physical and mental exhaustion of studying late into the night. I wasnt exercising and I turned to comfort eating to provide those few moments of pleasure that I craved so badly. Oh and how I ate!!! It may not have been the answer to my problems but there was no other answer so in the meantime, it would do.

Slowly my life just spiralled down further and further. I was short-tempered and often in a snappy, bad mood. I was emotional and over-sensitive, crying over anything and everything. I had become another person, a person who wasnt that nice to live with and I didnt like living in that skin. Only in the last couple of weeks did it dawn on me that I had fallen into a depression and I was still heading downwards.

Luckily I saw what was happening and took action to turn things around. I asked my boss for last Friday off explaining that I needed a mental health day. If I was going to break out of this rut, I needed a break from my usual routine. I needed to tackle stuff like housework, shopping and picking my boy up from school all at a relaxed pace. I needed to exercise and I needed to start eating well again.

As I started my recovery I thought long and hard about what I'd been through and admitted that one of the most upsetting things to come out of this for me was the weight I had gained from all that comfort eating. I looked fat and I felt awful. Few of my clothes fitted and I didnt feel good in anything. This was not how I wanted to live my life - not physically, not in this state of mind, not with this headset. It finally really sunk in just how destructive binge eating is and I knew I had to step up and banish it once and for all.

Recovering wasnt a case of flicking a switch and all was ok but as the days went on things gradually got better. I'm pleased to say that I no longer feel depressed and I'm paying a lot of attention to my health and wellbeing. I'm trying to be smarter about my study time. I'm now getting to bed earlier and I'm exercising in the morning. I'm eating better and performing better at work. I'm back to the old me, a me that I like to be. And I try to hold in my head and heart the lesson I learnt from my D experience.Hopefully the way forward from here is the path I've been trying to take for some time but never managed to stay on long enough to realise my dreams.

M