THE 5 HOUR LUNCH

Once every couple of months I get together with a special girlfriend that I've been friends with since we were teenagers. We meet for lunch on a Saturday, always dressed up and choose nice places to go. A bottle of bubbly is usually on the menu and some retail therapy to follow. Her husband is often on stand-by to pick us up when we're done - always several hours later.

Today was that lunch day. We went local so I wouldnt be too late after meeting my ice skating taxi service obligations. We had a lovely meal, the obligatory bottle of bubbly and then wandered around the local shops and boutiques. We had a coffee out, shopped some more and then "nightcapped" at one of the really nice pubs in my area. The lunch date went for 5 hours LOL.

As I write this tonight, I'm not feeling my best physically (could well have skipped dinner but Peter cooked it so I ate it.) but that doesnt detract from how good a day I had. The last time I met her was right in the thick of my depression when I was feeling fat, miserable and ugly. That lunch was a struggle. It was good to see and feel the difference today. I guess I just need to get better at balancing the food and drink on the social ocassions so that I dont slip into this blaaaah feeling. But I'm sure all will be good for tomorrow.

Good night all

M

FUTURE POSSIBILITIES

Its been an interesting week. I did manage to train on Wednesday doing back, chest and core strengthening work. Training chest after some time away always gives me DOMS to remind me to keep training consistently. Yeah, yeah I know but I still get slack about it. On a roll, I got up yesterday and did my trusty Legs - Back to Basics session. You couldnt get more basic than barbell squats, static lunges (I think most people call them split squats), stiff legged deadlifts and wide legged squats. And the weights I used were as piddly as, because again, I dont train consistently enough to improve my leg strength. But I did focus very strongly on good form, tight core etc and today I have the DOMS as my reward for my efforts.

Sadly the roll didnt last to this morning as I awoke and heard rain drops on the roof so immediately used that as an excuse to blow off my training. To compensate I finished work earlier and did a nice brisk 45 minute walk home. Training?? Not exactly, but better than nothing.

At beer o'clock tonight Peter and I got onto the subject of fitness, weight, goals etc as he is outright perplexed that I cant seem to get to my 'happy weight' despite knowing how miserable I am when I'm heavier than I like to be. It was a great conversation and without going over the minutae of it, I'll just say that its sparked the possibility of an exciting future goal. Ironically the idea is something I've been tossing around in my head for a little while so it was interesting that Peter brought it up because I certainly hadnt. Anyways its something I need to give a lot more thought to not just in my head but also in my heart.

Having said all that I've been happy with this week becasue I havent aimed for perfection, just a reasonabe consistent effort and I've managed that.

Cheers all

Magda

MY NAPPING MOJO

Are there any other early morning people out there who are struggling with their early mornings lately? I managed an early night last night and my alarm went off at 5am. Normally I wake up quickly and easily but after promptly turning my alarm off I fell back asleep almost instantly. It was only our pussy cat meeowing for food that woke me and forced me out of bed. So without enough time to do a decent weights session I went for a walk/jog instead. Well that was my intention until my right knee started aching like mad on my second jog interval and I downgraded to a walk the rest of the way. Over our morning coffee out later, Peter commented that I was sounding like an old wreck and admittedly I found it hard to dispute :-(

I spent this morning at a leadership training course that focussed on workplace wellbeing. It was well run and well presented and helped me to connect some dots that had been a constant mystery to my ever inquisitive brain. It had quite a large psychological component and the presenter really knew her stuff. It was the sort of course where I could have stayed all day happy to learn more and more. Alas my desk was calling with lots of "real work" waiting for my loving attention so it was back to the grind for the afternoon.

Well I'm keeping it short and sweet tonight with the intention of bouncing out of bad at 5am to lift heavy things and put them down. Whilst I havent lost my mojo, I'm finding that its taking lots of naps when I most need it.

M

THE BACK VERDICT

I last went to my chiro in March when my back and everything around it was playing up badly. At the time I had some x-rays done and then my pain settled down and I didn’t need another appointment for treatment.  However, by the time my exams were over, I was well overdue for a visit and of course there was my x-ray result to follow up as well.

 

So, lo and behold my x-rays showed advanced degeneration between L5 and S1, or as my chiro called it ‘advanced arthritis’ which I swear makes me sound like I’m 80 years old so I’ll use the ‘degeneration’ term. Yep, we’re talking about bone on bone whereas the other spinal joints had the obligatory finger space between them. No wonder I get so much stiffness and soreness in the area and surrounds.

 

The prognosis was underwhelming – basically manual treatment as and when required; no long distance running (max of 30 minutes) and expect to be stiff when I first get up in the mornings. He didn’t have to say it but I know that any strength I can develop through lifting weights will only help me. What he did say though was that I needed to improve my core strength. I do work at it but not consistently enough to make a difference.

 

Having said all that, I got to bed later than usual last night and turned my alarm off to get some extra sleep. There’s always tomorrow when I’ll be firing on all cylinders after an early night tonight.

CELEBRATION TIME

Its so good to be writing some good news in a week that started off in a pretty crappy way. Monday was totally chaotic at work with 2 crazy deadlines that were impossible to achieve without help from my team. Thanks to a huge effort from our Admin Coordinator and my Director, I made it but it certainly left me drained and headachy for the rest of the day.

Fast forward to 4.30 and it was exam time and I was going in knowing I had prepared well but there could always be something to throw me off track. By about 7pm I was so exhausted I couldn’t think straight. I had to literally shake it out and press on but even then, I didn’t finish all of the questions.

Well the final results came out today and I’m over the moon for achieving my goal of a credit mark. I set out with this goal and I must admit, there were times when the going got so tough I downgraded to “OMG please just let me pass” before my confidence bounced back to “yes I CAN do this and I WANT that credit.”

Why is this such a big deal?

Because I forget SO much stuff. I have days when it feels like my brain is full up and nothing else can go in. Then I have days where I feel ‘totally blonde’ or ‘vacant’.

Because I doubt my abilities on just about every level.

Because lately I’ve been setting goals and then blowing them off instead of achieving them.

Because it just is …for me.

Its was chess night tonight so I’ll save the celebration to the weekend – oh well I did have a glass of champagne – you know me J But honestly, what a relief just knowing I made it and the credit mark is a real bonus.

 

M

PRESSING 'REPEAT'

One of the things I love about blogging is the inspiration you draw from fellow bloggers. When I'm stuck in my rut and set in my ways its enlightening to read another perspective or another's experiences which then sparks a different train of thought within me. I'm referring specifically to KatieP from head-heart-health who earlier this week posted on FB that she was attempting to give up smoking ... again.

There was lots of support and advice for her, some of it being around dealing with addictions and it got me thinking about my own struggle with binge eating. I'm not sure I'd label it an 'addiction' because there have been (many) times when faced with a situation that would cause me to binge, I've chosen not to. But then there are many more times when I do (binge). Its a tough one. If I liken that to quitting smoking perhaps then I was in an "I've quit" phase only to later relapse, like many smokers do by going back to their habit/addiction.

Now here's something many of you might not know... I too have been a smoker and I have successfully quit (last one was several years ago.) But the journey to quitting was not easy or straightforward with many relapses over several years. However there is no going back for me now, despite having the rare thought about it, I know its not a thought that I'll ever indulge in or follow through.

So how did I do it?

1. The time had come that I really wanted to quit. My husband detested it and I smoked in secret. I hated living my life that way.

2. I remember getting a cold that was nastier than usual so there was this physical opportunity to say "enough" and whilst I had the cold I didnt crave cigarettes anyway.

3. I took myself out of situations where I would smoke. Avoidance therapy maybe? Who knows but it does work.

4. When the cravings came I just didnt give in and it wasnt long before they left and I was still smoke-free.

But method aside, the really important thing here is that I did it then so I can do it now with binge eating. I had it in me to tough it out and stick to my resolve and it goes without saying how much better I felt after quitting not just physically but emotionally too.

I'm not in a risk period now for binge eating but when it comes around again (and it will) maybe I need to dig deep into that place where I had the grit, the smarts and the determination to quit smoking and press 'repeat.'

ONE THIRD DOWN, 2 TO GO

I lay in bed on Sunday night determined not to be thinking about accounting and exams. Instead I thought about the next day being the 30^th of April or the last day of the first third of the year. Wow, a third of the year gone already. I looked back over that time and did a quick assessment of how it had panned out; what I had achieved; what I hadn’t achieved and how I felt about it all.

Here are my high and low lights:

I began the year immersed in study and that didn’t ease up until I walked out of my exam last night exhausted and very happy it was over. There was a period in February/March where the workload was overwhelming and I let my health and fitness slide BIG TIME. This resulted in me falling into a depression and not coping well with work, let alone how exhausted and miserable I felt 24/7.

On the bright side though I recognised this fairly early and was able to fix it through time off work, going back to eating well and moving regularly. Mine was only a brief encounter but gosh it was awful. I really feel for people who suffer long bouts of darkness, hopelessness and feeling overwhelmed by it all.

On the diet and fitness front things have been totally lacklustre.  Overall I’ve felt stuck somewhere between ‘in a rut’ and ‘no man's land’. I started the year working with Hilde from Get Active on Line but when the study became overwhelming my intentions to eat well and train hard disappeared. I bumbled along for a little while forever complaining about my extra kilos blah blah blah yet never doing anything about them. By the end of Easter I felt like a mini whale and desperate to feel more like an eel, I did something I said I’d never do again – I gave more money to the weight loss industry. For a week I was all fired up, motivated to the max … you know how it goes … and then my boy’s birthday was here, as was my MIL from Queensland and it was all about the food and the wine and who could be bothered dieting.

I don’t want this post to sound like a big whinge but its hard to write upbeat and positive when you’re not happy with stuff but that stuff is within your control. Yet when I’m rational and honest with myself, I know for me it comes back to habits and actions as opposed to deep seated emotional issues. Sure, I eat when I’m stressed and in other ‘emotional situations’ but I could just as easily choose NOT to eat then. I’ve done it before so what’s stopping me from doing it again? What’s that saying … “old habits die hard?” You bet!!

Ok now I’ll stop playing that old broken record because its time to move on and that’s what I’m doing. Today is the start of a new month, a new ‘third’ (of the year) and maybe a new attitude. Well that’s my intention anyway. I have a 3 week break before my next module starts and although I want to enjoy a couple of lunches with girlfriends and a dinner out to celebrate my exam result – I also plan to commit to moderation and consistency with food and training with a purpose. The plan is to start my marketing module in a better place both physically and mentally. I’m sure I can do it.