..... I'm doing things a little different. When the dust settled and the the calm returned and logic and commonsense prevailed again I had a bit of a think about what had caused me to get into the negative and destructive slump of last week and a half. It was quite easy to figure out so I'm confident (fingers crossed) that it'll be as easy to change.
Firstly I had fallen back into a diet mentality which had me obsessing with the scale number. Yes I was telling myself that I wasnt on a diet blah blah blah yet on the other hand I was treating the scale number as the be all and end all. I know I'm smarter than that but its such an easy trap to fall into, especially when indeed I was trying hard to lose weight. So when it (the scale number) didnt go the way I wanted it to, I fell back into the trap of a string of negative thoughts and ended up binging.
Secondly I had become really bored with what I was eating. Yes it was all food I like / love but it was boring and "good" and it added fuel to my diet mentality. I desperately wanted to break out, to rebel and when I did, I was out of control.
So a few changes are in order some physical and some mental which I need to work on consistently. To break this "diet mentality" I plan to:
1. Practice the "M" work everyday - MODERATION. Every day I plan to have a food that I would normally consider a treat and therefore avoid like the plague - or eat until I was bursting. It might just be a small biscuit with my cappuccino, a Ferrero Rocher after dinner, a couple of bits of almond bread or a glass of wine (when I'd normally not have any). The key is to get used to having this treat in a reasonable quantity without feeling like one mouthful is too many and a thousand are not enough (I credit Liz with this clever little saying).
2. I will stay away from the Metal Monster until early July and stop obsessively weighing myself and taking my measurements. This works for some people but not me. Experience has shown that every time I put myself under this type of pressure, it backfires and I end up losing weight and then quickly gaining it back. Every time this happens, it conjures up thoughts of failure and frustration and I dont want to live my life always coming back to those negative feelings.
When I was REALLY honest with myself I realised that as long as I ate well (but not necessarily 100% of the time or 100% "well") and exercised regularly I felt good about myself and was at peace with my body. I didnt need to be ?? kilos or have ??% body fat or look like a fitness model to be happy within myself. And in that mindset of eating well and thereby nurturing myself I found I could tackle just about anything and know that I'd be ok. Its such a great, positive place to be and one where I desire to spend a lot more time.
I've also decided to keep a (private) journal where I'll track my thoughts and feelings as I'm sure there'll be stuff that I dont want to blog about. Yet it'll be stuff that I'll need to work through, trial and see how it goes. My journal will also hold the information from my SP and some key information that will help me with this quest.
Yes I'm tackling my emotional eating problem one step at a time (well there are 3 here but its a manageable chunk, I believe) but I can no longer pretend that its all ok. I'm finally realising that if I want different, I need to do different. Let the new journey continue.
:-)
Monday, June 13, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
A LITTLE SELF LOVE GOES A WHOLE LOT FURTHER THAN A LOT OF SELF LOATHING AND PUNISHMENT
They say when the student is willing to learn, the teacher appears. This morning I was rifling through my pile of newspaper liftouts that held all the crosswords I like to do in my spare time (all 2 minutes of it / week LOL). As I was checking that I had the oldest rather than the newest, I found in that pile, the notes that I was given by my Sports Psyche a couple of years ago. It was like a message from heaven reminding me of all the work I had successfully done with her before being sent on my way with some really positive reassurances.
I took the notes with me today and over a lovely breakfast at one of my favourite cafes I read through them again to refresh my memory of our sesssions. Well needless to say, a couple of really obvious things jumped right out at me and I had one of those "duh smack yourself on the forehead moments" which is probably just what I needed to snap me out of this stupid stupid rut I've gotten myself into over the last week or so. Within minutes it was obvious where I had gone wrong and how easy (theoretically) it would be to fix that.
When I find myself in these situations (you know the crappy negative ruts) it is hard to break out from them but what always makes it easier is a complete change in routine. And thats what I had today (perhaps another small heavenly Godsend). I had booked a leave day so that I could attend a school excursion that would be near my work. So my day was: drop son at school, have breakfast at one of my favourite cafes on the way to work, do a couple of hours work to stay on top of things, join the excursion (and in doing so make my son's day), enjoy catching up with some of the other mums and then score an early dismissal and enjoy it by visiting one of our favourite cafes for a coffee and biscuits.
I found myself eating a fraction of what I've been consuming lately and more importantly I was not obsessed with food and feeding my negative thoughts. Hooray!!
And to think, all week I've been telling myself that now I must eat quite strictly to compensate for overeating. Deep down its just freaked me out and made me feel worse and I couldnt bring myself to do it. Just goes to show, a little self love goes whole lot further than a lot of self loathing and punishment.
Now that its the thick of winter I cant resist sharing this pic taken on our Noosa holiday in January this year. Yes I'm seriously hanging out for summer again.
:-) M
I took the notes with me today and over a lovely breakfast at one of my favourite cafes I read through them again to refresh my memory of our sesssions. Well needless to say, a couple of really obvious things jumped right out at me and I had one of those "duh smack yourself on the forehead moments" which is probably just what I needed to snap me out of this stupid stupid rut I've gotten myself into over the last week or so. Within minutes it was obvious where I had gone wrong and how easy (theoretically) it would be to fix that.
When I find myself in these situations (you know the crappy negative ruts) it is hard to break out from them but what always makes it easier is a complete change in routine. And thats what I had today (perhaps another small heavenly Godsend). I had booked a leave day so that I could attend a school excursion that would be near my work. So my day was: drop son at school, have breakfast at one of my favourite cafes on the way to work, do a couple of hours work to stay on top of things, join the excursion (and in doing so make my son's day), enjoy catching up with some of the other mums and then score an early dismissal and enjoy it by visiting one of our favourite cafes for a coffee and biscuits.
I found myself eating a fraction of what I've been consuming lately and more importantly I was not obsessed with food and feeding my negative thoughts. Hooray!!
And to think, all week I've been telling myself that now I must eat quite strictly to compensate for overeating. Deep down its just freaked me out and made me feel worse and I couldnt bring myself to do it. Just goes to show, a little self love goes whole lot further than a lot of self loathing and punishment.
Now that its the thick of winter I cant resist sharing this pic taken on our Noosa holiday in January this year. Yes I'm seriously hanging out for summer again.
:-) M
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
WELL TO BE HONEST ....
........ (because I always am) I'm having a tough time and have lost focus on my turnaround. Historic patterns repeating over and over and needless to say I've done a lot of draining-and-getting-me-nowhere self analysis. I've tried to be objective about it all but thats very hard for a highly emotional and over-sensitive Cancerian. There have been tears, albeit shed in private as I prefer to keep my personal struggles to myself ... oh and Blogland LOL.
Work busyness and pressure is not helping right now either. Although I have proved previously that I can cope without turning to food, in the last week, that hasnt been the case. Oh and red wine in more than moderate quantities is my new best friend. Whilst I dont drink to get drunk, I'm now having a wine more often than usual.
But on the positive side I've decided to do things a bit differently from here on. I just need some time to research and put my plan into place. Deep down I feel my decision is the right one .. if what I want works out. Yes thats all quite cryptic but at this stage there's nothing more to tell.
So there's my whinging negative post. Right now I cant see any silver lining on the clouds but I have a 4 day long weekend coming up and the plan is to focus on me, me, me and rack up some fun and feel good activities.
M
Work busyness and pressure is not helping right now either. Although I have proved previously that I can cope without turning to food, in the last week, that hasnt been the case. Oh and red wine in more than moderate quantities is my new best friend. Whilst I dont drink to get drunk, I'm now having a wine more often than usual.
But on the positive side I've decided to do things a bit differently from here on. I just need some time to research and put my plan into place. Deep down I feel my decision is the right one .. if what I want works out. Yes thats all quite cryptic but at this stage there's nothing more to tell.
So there's my whinging negative post. Right now I cant see any silver lining on the clouds but I have a 4 day long weekend coming up and the plan is to focus on me, me, me and rack up some fun and feel good activities.
M
Friday, June 3, 2011
CROSSROADS CHALLENGES AND THE HEART ALWAYS KNOWS
Sometimes life takes you back to a crossroads that you thought you had past as you merrily followed your happy path. You find yourself back there a bit surprised, a little (or a lot) disappointed and somewhat frustrated. You thought you were on straight path to where you were going.
But life is rarely that simple, that black and white. It's paths twist and turn, go uphill and then down and in doing so make our journeys interesting and challenging.
Where I am now I am faced with another decision about which path to take. I identify my options, I weigh up the pros and cons of each and estimate where they'll take me and I make a choice that I know is right and that I own.
As I travel life's paths and challenges are thrown at me I will remember that I have the tools to deal with them. When I search for answers in all the wrong places I'll remind myself that all the answers I need are within me, within my heart. The mind might say one thing but the heart always knows.
Now let's get on with enjoying the weekend.
:-) M
But life is rarely that simple, that black and white. It's paths twist and turn, go uphill and then down and in doing so make our journeys interesting and challenging.
Where I am now I am faced with another decision about which path to take. I identify my options, I weigh up the pros and cons of each and estimate where they'll take me and I make a choice that I know is right and that I own.
As I travel life's paths and challenges are thrown at me I will remember that I have the tools to deal with them. When I search for answers in all the wrong places I'll remind myself that all the answers I need are within me, within my heart. The mind might say one thing but the heart always knows.
Now let's get on with enjoying the weekend.
:-) M
Thursday, June 2, 2011
FOR GILLIAN - PART 2
Thanks for coming back with that extra info Gillian. (Refer comments on my last post). Its really helped me to understand your situation better.
Firstly let me say how much I admire and respect junior primary teachers. My boy is in year 3 so his year 1 is still very fresh in my memory. His class of 18 - 20 boys was mighty enthusiastic and energetic and fortunately led by an exceptionally good teacher. I'm sure she had her days though.
Teaching is very tiring work so I totally get what you're saying. I have the "luxury" of sitting at a computer or in meetings for most of my days but that can be tiring too - yet in a different way. And I remember very well how incredibly tired I was in the last 2 weeks of my HM training. Talk about fatigue with a capital F!! I avoided all forms of incidental exercise and movement just to survive and even then I had to take a few extra rest days before the race as I was worried that I'd line up on the day and be too tired to run the distance.
You mention that you'll be 50 on your next birthday. My comment: IRRELEVANT!! (And I mean that in a nice way!!) You seem like an energetic, enthusiastic and driven person that is not shackled by the number attached to your next birthday. OK you / we may not have as much energy as a super fit 20something year old but I'm sure we'd give a lot of others our age a good run for their money.
So here are my thoughts on your tiredness and self preservation:
1. How good is your diet and does it suit your training? In other words, are you eating mainly clean whole unprocessed foods and balancing your carbs, proteins and fats? Experience has shown me that a healthy diet is paramount to having even remotely reasonable energy levels. I also found that for too long I was stuck in the low carb mentality (a leftover from my bodybuilding and prepping for comp days) and I ALWAYS felt totally flat in the afternoons. Now that I eat carbs at lunch time (eg 1 big slice of grainy seed bread or some brown rice) I feel a lot better in the afternoons. The same would go for dinner time if you were running the following morning. Perhaps pay attention to your dinner by juggling carbs up a bit and see if that makes a difference. Oh and I cant promote enough how important I believe good fats are. Salmon, olive oil, olives, nuts etc should be enjoyed regularly. I must add that my husband swears by red meat for iron. When we eat a lot of fish in summer our red meat intake goes right down and he regularly complains of feeling flat and not having energy. A good steak dinner and rest assured, he's pumped to go again (he runs too but never long distances). Apologies if you're a vegetarian.
You mention that you're exhausted after work and I sympathise. Are you able to take 30-40 minutes to yourself and do something you really enjoy to help you wind down and relax? We spend a huge proportion of our lives running from one activity or commitment to another and there never seems to be time to stop and smell the roses. Maybe that simple act (proverbially speaking) will help to balance you. The other side to this is the sleep factor and getting enough each night. I'm an early to bed person to manage my early starts but if you like to stay up later despite some earlier starts then that may be having a negative effect on your energy levels. I'm not sure what to advise about waking up exhausted other than the diet, relaxation and sleep factors. Thats a really tricky one.
Yet having said all that you may take on baord a suggestion or two and it may make a slight difference but essentially it wont remove your situation. It then comes down to your personal goal (to run the marathon) , what it means to you and your level of commitment to it. I think you already know that it wont be easy. (Hey if it was everybody would be doing it LOL.) But I think thats what makes it so exciting, so desirable, so worth going for. And the harder it is the greater the reward and sense of achievement when you've reached your goal.
Gillian the decision is yours. You can convince yourself that its too hard and you have too many obstacles or you can acknowledge that yes its hard and there are obstacles but YOU CAN AND WILL DO IT.
:-) XX M
Firstly let me say how much I admire and respect junior primary teachers. My boy is in year 3 so his year 1 is still very fresh in my memory. His class of 18 - 20 boys was mighty enthusiastic and energetic and fortunately led by an exceptionally good teacher. I'm sure she had her days though.
Teaching is very tiring work so I totally get what you're saying. I have the "luxury" of sitting at a computer or in meetings for most of my days but that can be tiring too - yet in a different way. And I remember very well how incredibly tired I was in the last 2 weeks of my HM training. Talk about fatigue with a capital F!! I avoided all forms of incidental exercise and movement just to survive and even then I had to take a few extra rest days before the race as I was worried that I'd line up on the day and be too tired to run the distance.
You mention that you'll be 50 on your next birthday. My comment: IRRELEVANT!! (And I mean that in a nice way!!) You seem like an energetic, enthusiastic and driven person that is not shackled by the number attached to your next birthday. OK you / we may not have as much energy as a super fit 20something year old but I'm sure we'd give a lot of others our age a good run for their money.
So here are my thoughts on your tiredness and self preservation:
1. How good is your diet and does it suit your training? In other words, are you eating mainly clean whole unprocessed foods and balancing your carbs, proteins and fats? Experience has shown me that a healthy diet is paramount to having even remotely reasonable energy levels. I also found that for too long I was stuck in the low carb mentality (a leftover from my bodybuilding and prepping for comp days) and I ALWAYS felt totally flat in the afternoons. Now that I eat carbs at lunch time (eg 1 big slice of grainy seed bread or some brown rice) I feel a lot better in the afternoons. The same would go for dinner time if you were running the following morning. Perhaps pay attention to your dinner by juggling carbs up a bit and see if that makes a difference. Oh and I cant promote enough how important I believe good fats are. Salmon, olive oil, olives, nuts etc should be enjoyed regularly. I must add that my husband swears by red meat for iron. When we eat a lot of fish in summer our red meat intake goes right down and he regularly complains of feeling flat and not having energy. A good steak dinner and rest assured, he's pumped to go again (he runs too but never long distances). Apologies if you're a vegetarian.
You mention that you're exhausted after work and I sympathise. Are you able to take 30-40 minutes to yourself and do something you really enjoy to help you wind down and relax? We spend a huge proportion of our lives running from one activity or commitment to another and there never seems to be time to stop and smell the roses. Maybe that simple act (proverbially speaking) will help to balance you. The other side to this is the sleep factor and getting enough each night. I'm an early to bed person to manage my early starts but if you like to stay up later despite some earlier starts then that may be having a negative effect on your energy levels. I'm not sure what to advise about waking up exhausted other than the diet, relaxation and sleep factors. Thats a really tricky one.
Yet having said all that you may take on baord a suggestion or two and it may make a slight difference but essentially it wont remove your situation. It then comes down to your personal goal (to run the marathon) , what it means to you and your level of commitment to it. I think you already know that it wont be easy. (Hey if it was everybody would be doing it LOL.) But I think thats what makes it so exciting, so desirable, so worth going for. And the harder it is the greater the reward and sense of achievement when you've reached your goal.
Gillian the decision is yours. You can convince yourself that its too hard and you have too many obstacles or you can acknowledge that yes its hard and there are obstacles but YOU CAN AND WILL DO IT.
:-) XX M
FOR GILLIAN
Yesterday's post raised this question from Gillian and I thought I'd blog post my answer.
Hi Magda
How do you go getting up early for a run? I seem to have developed a real phobia about getting up early for a run before work. I can get up really early any other day not not then. This is going to become a real problem as I am training for my first marathon next year! Any suggestions?Gillian, this is a tough one because its about habit and mindset.
I have been training at 5am since December 2006 when I started preparing for a figure comp to be held in October 2007. My lifestyle (fulltime work, young child etc) meant it was then or never and I started to form the habit in the nice warm months over summer when it was relatively easy to do. Once the habit was formed (and I did it every working day) it was relatively easy to keep doing it and I still am 4 years later.
However I think "mindset" is almost more important than the habit factor. In this regard I adopt the following beliefs and standards.
1. Training (of some sort) is a non-negotiable for me (and it just happens to have to be at 5am). I might miss a few days here or there but I've never given it up entirely and then have to reform the habit. My blog sort of keeps me accountable as I publicly declare that this is what I do so I feel bound to live by my word.
2. I am generally a morning person and I dedicate that first hour of the day to "me". Its my time to do something good and positive for myself and I dont kid myself that a sleep in will have the same effect. I tend to wake up easily and once I'm awake, getting up to train is the only option.
3. I pride myself on the fact that I maintain a fit and active lifestyle. My recent medical checks came back excellent and my GP confirmed that my healthy lifestyle choices all added up to make me very low risk for heart disease (and probabaly a slew of other illnesses as well).
But thats enough blowing of my own trumpet.
Your comment states that your phobia is about getting up early to run (but not to do other training). What is about the running that is making you feel this way?
Are you worrying about the volume and intensity of the training? Are you training with or being coached by anyone? When I decided to do the HM last year I was a bit scared about it too so I signed up with Pat Carroll as I'd heard so many good reports about his on-line coaching. It was money (and not a lot!!) well spent as Pat monitored my training progress and mentored me on race day psychology. I did all my running on my own but knowing that Pat was "supporting me" made the world of difference.
Are you worried about personal safety if you have to run in the dark? This is a real issue these days and one I'm very careful with. I was able to keep my weekday runs to an hour or less so I never went out before 5am (but even that is pitch black through the winter and spring months). I did my long training runs on the weekends in broad daylight. When I ran early mornings I'd always have my phone with me. I also never run where there is no residential property or general signs of life and people coming and going. For instance I will never run through a park or gardens or anything like that. Even some areas where there are just shops (deserted at 5am) I'll try to avoid or make sure there are residential streets to duck down should I need to. I try to stay as alert as possible by being 100% aware of my surroundings - and not getting totally lost in what I'm doing. I've been lucky as I've only had one incidence where a car load of youths passed me once and then turned back around and found me again tucked well into my suburb. They pulled up near me asking where there was a public phone but luckily nothing came of that. Ironically it was daylight by then and I was about 300 metres from home and less than 100 metres from a friend's place so had it turned nasty I was confident of making it to my friends place. My only suggestion is to maybe run with a club (I notice a group sets off around 6am in my suburb and about 8-10 people are involved.) Or maybe find a running partner (easier to say than do, I know).
Without knowing what it is thats causing you to fear / dread those early morning runs its hard to give advice. I know I stress about how much I have to "fit in" before work but at the end of the day I also know its about being organised and having a routine and sticking to it - a bit like the robot I was referring to in my last post LOL.
I dont know if any of that helps but if you're willing to share more I'm more than happy to share my perspective on it.
Cheers
Magda
Hi Magda
How do you go getting up early for a run? I seem to have developed a real phobia about getting up early for a run before work. I can get up really early any other day not not then. This is going to become a real problem as I am training for my first marathon next year! Any suggestions?Gillian, this is a tough one because its about habit and mindset.
I have been training at 5am since December 2006 when I started preparing for a figure comp to be held in October 2007. My lifestyle (fulltime work, young child etc) meant it was then or never and I started to form the habit in the nice warm months over summer when it was relatively easy to do. Once the habit was formed (and I did it every working day) it was relatively easy to keep doing it and I still am 4 years later.
However I think "mindset" is almost more important than the habit factor. In this regard I adopt the following beliefs and standards.
1. Training (of some sort) is a non-negotiable for me (and it just happens to have to be at 5am). I might miss a few days here or there but I've never given it up entirely and then have to reform the habit. My blog sort of keeps me accountable as I publicly declare that this is what I do so I feel bound to live by my word.
2. I am generally a morning person and I dedicate that first hour of the day to "me". Its my time to do something good and positive for myself and I dont kid myself that a sleep in will have the same effect. I tend to wake up easily and once I'm awake, getting up to train is the only option.
3. I pride myself on the fact that I maintain a fit and active lifestyle. My recent medical checks came back excellent and my GP confirmed that my healthy lifestyle choices all added up to make me very low risk for heart disease (and probabaly a slew of other illnesses as well).
But thats enough blowing of my own trumpet.
Your comment states that your phobia is about getting up early to run (but not to do other training). What is about the running that is making you feel this way?
Are you worrying about the volume and intensity of the training? Are you training with or being coached by anyone? When I decided to do the HM last year I was a bit scared about it too so I signed up with Pat Carroll as I'd heard so many good reports about his on-line coaching. It was money (and not a lot!!) well spent as Pat monitored my training progress and mentored me on race day psychology. I did all my running on my own but knowing that Pat was "supporting me" made the world of difference.
Are you worried about personal safety if you have to run in the dark? This is a real issue these days and one I'm very careful with. I was able to keep my weekday runs to an hour or less so I never went out before 5am (but even that is pitch black through the winter and spring months). I did my long training runs on the weekends in broad daylight. When I ran early mornings I'd always have my phone with me. I also never run where there is no residential property or general signs of life and people coming and going. For instance I will never run through a park or gardens or anything like that. Even some areas where there are just shops (deserted at 5am) I'll try to avoid or make sure there are residential streets to duck down should I need to. I try to stay as alert as possible by being 100% aware of my surroundings - and not getting totally lost in what I'm doing. I've been lucky as I've only had one incidence where a car load of youths passed me once and then turned back around and found me again tucked well into my suburb. They pulled up near me asking where there was a public phone but luckily nothing came of that. Ironically it was daylight by then and I was about 300 metres from home and less than 100 metres from a friend's place so had it turned nasty I was confident of making it to my friends place. My only suggestion is to maybe run with a club (I notice a group sets off around 6am in my suburb and about 8-10 people are involved.) Or maybe find a running partner (easier to say than do, I know).
Without knowing what it is thats causing you to fear / dread those early morning runs its hard to give advice. I know I stress about how much I have to "fit in" before work but at the end of the day I also know its about being organised and having a routine and sticking to it - a bit like the robot I was referring to in my last post LOL.
I dont know if any of that helps but if you're willing to share more I'm more than happy to share my perspective on it.
Cheers
Magda
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
BORED!!
I must admit that it was VERY hard getting up at 4.50am today. I lay in bed for a couple of minutes contemplating the benefits of an extra rest day. Fortunately my Inner Warrior spoke to me loud and clear with "haul your arse out of bed and hit the weights girl", so I did.
It was 6.6 degrees outside and probably only a degree or 2 warmer in my studio. At least with leg training you warm up somewhat as you move the big muscles through the various exercises. I'm still on baby weights but am increasing gradually. I must admit though that the majority of my exercises feel quite painful - like a BAD case of DOMS, which I dont have at the moment. I guess I just accept that this is how it is for me now as I'm not in a position to undertake the extensive and expensive rehab that may fix my problem.
To finish off my training today I decided to go for a fast walk as 20 minutes on the exercise bike just didnt have any appeal. Even though I wore gloves, my fingers were like little sticks of ice LOL. But it was exhilirating and quite enjoyable to power through my suburb and enjoy a bit of thinking time.
In fact I was thinking how this turnaround is starting to really bore me. I've become so numbers focussed which landed me in trouble last week when the numbers werent what I wanted to see. I've also become a bit robotic with my food prep and meals eaten - its almost like I'm in a comp prep mode during the week - without the super restricted diet though. The rebel in me played a little fantasy game as I walked from work to my carpark yesterday. As I passed the various eateries along the way I imagined having lunch from each one over the coming days / weeks. If that doesnt scream BORED!! then I dont know what does??
:-) M
It was 6.6 degrees outside and probably only a degree or 2 warmer in my studio. At least with leg training you warm up somewhat as you move the big muscles through the various exercises. I'm still on baby weights but am increasing gradually. I must admit though that the majority of my exercises feel quite painful - like a BAD case of DOMS, which I dont have at the moment. I guess I just accept that this is how it is for me now as I'm not in a position to undertake the extensive and expensive rehab that may fix my problem.
To finish off my training today I decided to go for a fast walk as 20 minutes on the exercise bike just didnt have any appeal. Even though I wore gloves, my fingers were like little sticks of ice LOL. But it was exhilirating and quite enjoyable to power through my suburb and enjoy a bit of thinking time.
In fact I was thinking how this turnaround is starting to really bore me. I've become so numbers focussed which landed me in trouble last week when the numbers werent what I wanted to see. I've also become a bit robotic with my food prep and meals eaten - its almost like I'm in a comp prep mode during the week - without the super restricted diet though. The rebel in me played a little fantasy game as I walked from work to my carpark yesterday. As I passed the various eateries along the way I imagined having lunch from each one over the coming days / weeks. If that doesnt scream BORED!! then I dont know what does??
:-) M
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)